Yelling is something that many people do and of course, it can become quite a toxic action in human relationships. Really, all people have raised their voices or yelled in anger at some point in their lives. Some people scream regularly and others sporadically. Before thinking about how to feel about these situations, it is necessary to understand why it happens.
Yelling is unhealthy
Yelling is not healthy for relationships and it will never have anything positive for it in the short or long term. A person can allow someone to scream so that they stop doing it and that everything returns to normal, something that usually happens, but the scream does not change the mentality neither in the short nor in the long term.
For example, a mother who yells at her children to listen to her may cause her children to pick up at that time, but it will not change her mind about that they should pick up their toys every day, the mother will continue to yell and children will not pick up toys without yelling. Children will learn to pick up if they have been conditioned with a reward or consequence system and recognize the importance and value of picking up their toys.
Yelling is bad for relationships. It is not a constructive way to deal with a difficult situation, yet each person engages in yelling. Some more than others … You need to be aware of your own screaming and understand why some people do it constantly.
If someone constantly yells at you, what they do is show an emotional tyranny over you. The goal of someone yelling at you is to gain an advantage in the situation, and yelling is their desperate means of getting control over you. It is really a form of intimidation or harassment. Although yelling may work temporarily, the long-term sustainability of the results is not good. Yelling to get someone to do something is definitely a toxic form of communication. Yelling is unhealthy in relationships, in fact, it breaks communications and people’s closeness.
The screams in the people
People yell because they are angry. Anger is like a corrosive acid that spoils any container it is poured into … if someone is angry and yelling, there can be many reasons why they do so. Most of the reasons someone yells doesn’t justify it, so it’s important that the person being yelled at reacts well and is not reactive.
If you are reactive to a screaming situation, the lack of control will be assured. In this sense, it is important to understand why the other person screams, since most of the time it is due to emotional instability … And it has nothing to do with the recipient of the screams.
The screams are the reflection of an emotional instability, despite the desperate attempts to show strength and dominance in the situation … but the screams show the opposite. Don’t miss out on what a person screams for … Maybe you feel identified and it will help you control your emotions in the future, or seek help if you need it.
Why do people yell: possible reasons
Poor coping skills
There are people who scream as a response mechanism in difficult situations. Actually this response or defense mechanism is not a good coping skill and does not have good long-term results.
A person is loud because they have learned to live like this, they will need help to find a better way to regulate their emotions. Having emotional outbursts and yelling is often unhealthy.
Lost of control
A person who screams may feel desperate because they have no control over the situation. You may feel too much tension from the situation you are experiencing and the intense emotions you are experiencing. You will lack adequate coping skills to regain control over the situation and your surroundings, causing you to scream to feel like you are in control, even though you are not.
This creates confusion in the person who shouts as they do it because they want to feel in control but they really feel absolutely emotionally overwhelmed. Although sometimes they can have a certain sense of control, it is only temporary because problems are not solved by shouting.
Feelings of threat
People who have a very sensitive emotional core and want to protect that core often become bullies. Every time they feel that their emotional core is being threatened they react viscerally. Yelling is a tool they use whenever they feel a threat looming over them.
There are people who simply have too much aggression and yell and attack when they feel upset. Normally a fight can start screaming. If someone is yelling and you don’t know that person well, be alert because physical confrontation may occur imminently.
It is important to avoid the aggressive reaction if someone is aggressive because it is like pouring gasoline on the fire of anger … things can get physical and even dangerous.
There are those who are people who scream because in their childhood home they shouted regularly, that is, parents used the scream as a habitual form of communication. They learned that when there were conflicts they also had to shout to be heard.
They have not learned the proper coping behaviors when faced with conflict and difficult situations. Yelling has always been their reaction to situations in which they encounter any kind of confusion.
There are also people who yell when they are angry because they feel that one way or another the other person they are addressing is not listening to them. They may even have repeated their message several times without yelling, but they resort to raising their voices because their anger that the other person is not listening is very upsetting.
This is often the case with yelling while parenting. Parents feel like their kids aren’t listening, so instead of repeating themselves continuously, they yell at them. The problem is, this actually scares children. Yelling in anger is also very harmful to children and can even be just as harmful as physical abuse .