There are few situations in a woman’s life as harsh as rape. Unfortunately, women who suffer rape not only have to face the physical and psychological consequences, but also see how society ends up judging and blaming them , to some extent, for what has happened. This is something that we can see in our day to day, reflected in the media and in the cases that are brought to court; Emphasis is placed on the clothes that the woman was wearing when she was raped, on the area she was walking through, on whether it was night or day, on whether she went alone or not … When all this really does not have any kind of important, because rape is never the responsibility of the victim.

Men who commit rape do not do so depending on the environment, the clothes she is wearing, or whether she is alone or not. They rape because they feel empowered to do so, because there is a culture of rape that, to a certain extent, protects them; because they feel superior to women and, therefore, they believe that they have the right to take from them what they prefer.

A rape is much more than a collision in a dark alley, because rapists may not be complete strangers . That is why women can have many problems when it comes to overcoming a situation like that; fear can cling to them, and keep them from moving on. But if this is your case, or that of someone you know, don’t worry: everything happens. With the right treatment, with enough professional help, you can overcome any problem that comes your way. Because you have the strength for that and for much more.

See a professional for help

After a rape, it is normal to feel afraid to go out on the street , or to have sexual or romantic relationships with men. We are talking about a very traumatic and painful process, which can destroy the security of any woman. That is why it is important that, if you are at that point, you know that it is not bad that you need to turn to a professional to help you overcome it.

The psychological therapy will be of great help, and it is not something to be ashamed of , much less. These taboos will only harm you in the long term, while talking to a psychologist or a psychologist will make you overcome all your fears much faster.

Take refuge in your loved ones and trust them

Do not isolate yourself, do not think that people judge you or blame you for what happened , because that is not the case, far from it. To overcome everything that has happened to you, you will need a very large support network, and what better than to have your friends. It is not necessary that you talk about the subject, that you give them details, that you are forced to do something like that; just letting them see that you feel bad, and that you need them by your side, is more than enough. Do not be afraid of being rejected, because that will not happen.

Accept your feelings: they are valid

It is normal, logical and totally understandable, that you want to cry, or that you want to take time and rest. That you want to spend time with yourself , and rest absolutely everything that has happened to you. You are not weak from crying, nor are you weak from being afraid: you are simply human, and you have gone through a very hard situation that you did not deserve.

Crying is human, and necessary, just like resting.

Don’t blame yourself, ever

It is especially important that you understand that nothing that has happened to you has to do with something that you have done, said or implied . Never! The responsibility for the violation will always lie with the rapist, and never with the victim. You shouldn’t have worn other clothes, you shouldn’t have said anything else: everything you did or said was fine. It is difficult for you to understand this, especially considering the culture of rape in which we live, but it is important that you understand it so that you can overcome your fears .

You will need time: give it to yourself

Recovery will not be something overnight, it will not be something quick, and you should not demand that it be like that. Because it is normal for you to take a while to overcome emotional wounds ; Just as a broken arm takes time to heal, the same happens when a person is injured internally. Again: that doesn’t make you weak, it just shows you that you are human. And there is nothing wrong with being human!

Reporting is not always easy … but try to do it

Before you read on: no, reporting is not easy. Yes, you will feel exposed, and you will be even more afraid because you will have to face all your nightmares again. But, in the long run, it will benefit you . Because only by reporting will you feel that there is a possibility that justice will be served, and that the rapist will pay for what he has done.

It is not easy and, depending on the situation, it will be much less so. Because the rapist is not always a stranger in an alley, as we have already pointed out, but can be a friend, a partner … or even a relative. But, whenever possible, and with the psychological help of a professional, it is a good idea to try to report.

Rape is something very hard, very complicated and, like all crimes, unjust and undeserved . But it doesn’t have to be the end of your life, and it shouldn’t be! You do not deserve that everything ends like this, you do not deserve that someone snatches your desire to continue, and, unfortunately, for that you will have to do your part. You will have to be your greatest support , without forgetting your friends and family, and you will have to put all your effort to leave fear behind. But you can, and one day, you will be the one to help people who go through that event to get your life back. Give yourself another chance, because you deserve it. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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