Nobody likes having unpleasant people close to them, so if you are this way it is possible that people do not want to be around you … unless they have no choice because they are your family or because they have to work with you. It goes without saying that everyone in the world wants to be loved … But we have to make sure that the people around us enjoy our company, keep in mind that sometimes things can be done that make presence difficult, but it doesn’t have to be like this always.

According to human behavior experts , there are some universal qualities that tend to be a problem in interpersonal relationships. Next we are going to talk about some of them so that you can be aware and if it happens to you, stop doing it.

You talk too much about yourself

It is natural to want to share information about your life in conversation. In fact, most people talk about themselves a lot … but even though this is something that everyone does, it is necessary to give in to that tendency so that others do not get bored in the conversation.

Less likeable people talk a lot, especially about themselves. It is necessary to stop monopolizing conversations. Nobody likes people who don’t allow anyone else to say anything …

You don’t know how to listen

If you don’t master soliloquy conversations about yourself, or you just tend to tune out when someone else is speaking, appearing disinterested when other people speak to you is another unpleasant quality. But it is also quite common, most people allow their minds to wander more than 50% of the time when someone is speaking to them. We have to live in the past or in the future, instead of being in the moment … However, it is the people who are truly present who tend to be more likeable.

Being able to really listen to others is an extremely important quality for building relationships, be they platonic or romantic . E ntonces, rather than spend the talk time thinking about what you’re going to say then an active listener who show a real interest in what someone else is saying.

You always have to get away with it

In general, people like flexible and easy-going people better than those who are confrontational or arguing a lot. People often feel uncomfortable when someone is combative and they always find disagreement about minor things, like whether there are two clouds in the sky or four.

Of course, it is not necessary to be satisfied with everything, that is also tedious, but pleasant people tend to offer their opinions without closing the conversation or opinion to others. For example, when deciding where to go for dinner, for example, a nice person might offer a suggestion.  But if the group decides to go somewhere else, he or she would be more than willing to do it together with the group because sharing the experience of going out together is more important than being the one who chooses the place.

In conversation and discussion, a nice person would share their thoughts on a controversial topic and could still leave the topic open for alternative points of view.

You don’t care about your appearance

Beauty does not always have to be superficial, when it comes to liking, the effort you put into your appearance can make or break what others perceive of you. In fact, people who make a greater effort to introduce themselves also tend to be more likeable: a Harvard University study found that makeup used to enhance a woman’s attractiveness increased her level of likeability, attractiveness, and trustworthiness. While it may seem superficial, appearances do matter – being proud of your appearance helps you be more physically and psychologically attractive to others.

You complain too much

Nobody likes being around someone who is a total disappointment or who is always complaining about anything. Whether you’re constantly talking to an ex who hurt you or lamenting about your boring job , being negative simply encourages more negativity.  While you don’t have to turn all the lemons in your life into lemonade for the sake of other people, you may want to cut down on pessimism to avoid being someone who makes others feel drained after hanging out with you.

Even if you’re not always complaining in conversation, others can pick up a negative aura without even saying a word. When you have negative thoughts, your body language and micro-expressions, which last about 25 seconds, show it even when you don’t realize it. If you transmit bad energies, people will notice and will walk away from you.

You have a condescending attitude

Being condescending is clearly a negative quality that will not earn you points with other people. But you may not realize that you are condescending or firing someone on the spot. For example, if someone mentions that they like a certain book, and you thought it was a superficial book, the condescending response would be: “For people who are not familiar with the subject it may be a good book, but I expected it to be a book. more advanced “. In this concrete example you are saying in those words that there is a scale of intelligence and that you are at the higher end …

Being condescending avoids a sense of mutual worth because one individual is trying to establish status superiority in some way that suggests the other is worth less on some scale. Nobody likes to be made to feel less, even if that was not your intention a priori.

If you have realized that you have some of these qualities in yourself, then the time has come for you to start reflecting on whether you really want to be. If you want to stop being unpleasant for other people and you would like to be more pleasant, then start to assess what changes you can make in yourself to make that better. What do you do to be more pleasant?  Having read this, will you change your behavior from now on? What are the qualities that you find unpleasant in yourself? 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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