It is said a lot that we must pursue our dreams and illusions but, in most cases, they forget the difficulties that appear on the way to it or when they do not occur.

A common feeling that is born when facing an event that we cannot control and, therefore, does not go as we would like is frustration.

Frustration like many feeling is not universal. We each live it in a different way. It can be accompanied by sadness or rage and anger , often even pain. When it is prolonged over time we can feel useless, inferior, powerless, lacking in motivation, failures …

In common that our environment responds to what happens to us and tries to encourage us or even advise us some self-help book. However, as often happens when we have an emotional problem, the first change must come from ourselves .

Even against the continuous campaigns that insist that just by wanting something you can get it, we present some (more realistic) tips to learn to live with frustration. Developing a tolerance level to this acceptable is important as it will inevitably appear.

1. Recognize your limits

We would like to, but not everything is within our reach. Either due to lack of resources, time or knowledge. We all have our limitations and it is essential to know them . Recognizing and accepting our own weaknesses is an advantage. On the one hand, we can strive to overcome them and learn from them and, on the other, if we cannot change it, if we accept them they will not cause us frustration.

2. Accept reality

Unfair, cruel, disappointing … no one is aware that many times it is. Things often don’t go our way and never go our way.

One way to learn to handle frustration is to focus on the here and now rather than turning around the past (we must accept it as it is because it cannot be changed) and the future (we must accept it as it comes because we cannot control everything).

3. Count on your closest circle

Many times we are so frustrated looking for a solution to how we feel that we forget that our closest environment can be the solution . Whether we need support or someone to help us reflect, many times an honest and loving conversation disposes us to take the situation differently. Also, if we care about their experience with frustration, we can learn from them.

4. Be flexible

On your way to reaching an acceptable level of frustration tolerance, it is best to try to be flexible. Both with the objectives , and with the times … Reality very seldom resembles the ideal with which we face it and that shock usually causes us discomfort. Don’t just stand there, accept the discomfort and give yourself some time to reflect before moving on . If we allow ourselves to be carried away by anger that causes us a bad result, it may lead us to make the wrong decisions.

5. Set realistic expectations

Especially when we set very long-term goals, which imply a high degree of tolerance for frustration. Try to set smaller, short or medium term goals that motivate you and allow you to overcome frustration on your way to what you are looking for.

6. Learn from mistakes

In all this path towards what we set out to do, we will most likely fail. Sometimes more and sometimes less, but it is common and, although, many times, it exceeds our threshold of tolerance for frustration and takes us to a limit where we want to abandon our objectives, they are very useful.

Mistakes add experience on many levels . From teaching us at the level of knowledge how to do something to teaching us how we are.

With experience in the face of errors, we manage to separate our emotional reaction to them from the response that we give below. This can be more flexible, realistic and adapted .