Self- esteem is the way we perceive ourselves , that is, the value we give ourselves as a person. When you have high self-esteem, you are able to face difficulties, better tolerate frustration, accept yourself as you are, respect yourself and trust your abilities; While when we have low self-esteem, we tend to think negatively about ourselves, which causes us to limit ourselves in many aspects, underestimate ourselves and no longer trust our abilities.

This perception is built on the basis of the acceptance we obtain from the people around us, how others perceive us, how they treat us, how we perceive that others do not see and how we treat each other. It also directly influences the correct integral development of the person.

How can we increase self-esteem?

As we have said before, self-esteem is the assessment that we give ourselves based on our experiences. This assessment is created as a result of all the thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences that we have lived throughout life and have been shaping us.

Low self-esteem can cause serious complexes that directly affect all areas of life and development, it can create a feeling of guilt and negative thoughts that make us underestimate ourselves and do not trust our abilities . For this reason it is important, although also difficult, to increase self-esteem and to accept oneself, to achieve this from bekia we leave you a series of twelve tips that may be useful:

1. Make a list of your virtues: Write on a sheet each and every one of the good things you have, read them and realize that you have many qualities that make you a valuable person and worthy of your respect. Every time you doubt yourself or underestimate yourself, reread it and feel better, valuing yourself the way you deserve.

2. Make a list with your defects and difficulties: As in the previous case, make a list with all your defects or with the difficulties that you perceive and encounter when carrying out a task. Analyze them and tell how you can improve or overcome them, giving you ways of seeing that they are not in themselves “defects”, but attitudes that you have to improve or contrast with other more positive ones.

3. Write down all the negative and derogatory phrases in a notebook: Reuse a notebook or notebook and write down each of the negative, derogatory or undervaluing phrases that you say to yourself daily. After that, sit down and turn each one of them into a positive one, for example: The phrase: I don’t know how to do anything, turn it into: I’m not good at this task, but that doesn’t mean I’m not good at many other things, I just have to try to improve it and I will succeed.

4. Don’t live in the past: Get over your failures and focus on your victories, we all make mistakes, learn from them and know that next time you have the ability to do better. To do this, write or say in your mind what things you could have improved and how, so you will know how to act in the future. In the event that you make mistakes again, repeat this activity until you manage to do it as you wish.

5. Do not be a perfectionist: Perfection does not exist, keep it in mind, love yourself, value yourself and do not pressure yourself, take into account your capabilities, do not demand more. Since this will make you feel incapable, useless, etc. Which is not true, each one stands out in one aspect, you just have to enhance yours and get the best out of it.

6. Do not let the comments of others affect you: Base yourself on your own criteria, it is important to accept yourself as you are, without letting the opinion of others affect you negatively. Analyze the reasons that the person has for saying such a thing and turn it around, getting something positive out of it. For example: If they tell you, you are worthless, convert it and say to yourself: What is this person based on to say that? You will be having a difficult time, you will be overwhelmed, etc. So he said it without thinking. There are many things that I am good at, there is no one useless, everyone is worth something, and I am no exception.

7. Do not compare yourself with the rest: Each person is as they are, we are all different and we stand out in different ways. Do not try to compare yourself with the people around you, keep in mind that perfection is very subjective, and that what for you may be a defect for another person is a virtue. Learn to live with what for you are mistakes and enhance your successes.

8. Take responsibility: Don’t be afraid of making a mistake or not succeeding, no one is perfect. Besides, only the one who does things makes mistakes, so do them and if you fail, try again, you learn from mistakes.

9. If you need it, ask for help: If you see that you are not able to carry out some type of task, ask for help, do not be ashamed, you are not being inferior for it, all people need the help of others on many occasions of our life. Enrich yourself from this experience and learn from it, this will positively affect your development as a person.

10. Dedicate time for you: Take care of yourself , pamper yourself and love yourself . It is very important to spend time with yourself and accept yourself, when it comes to increasing self-esteem. Get to know yourself better, explore for yourself, learn from this experience and realize how much you are worth to yourself and to the rest.

11. Congratulate yourself on your achievements: Just as you criticize yourself when something does not go as expected, congratulate yourself and congratulate yourself when you achieve your goals, even if they are small achievements, this will make you feel more comfortable with yourself, with more strength and more desire to improve in all aspects.

12. Take failures with a sense of humor: Do not give them more importance than they have, do not obsess over one, life goes on and you have to learn from them. For example: because the food has passed you, your life is not over, for the next time you calculate the times better and learn from the mistakes made.

What do we achieve by increasing our self-esteem?

When we have high self-esteem, we accept ourselves and others, we take into account our abilities and we empower them, we trust ourselves more, we are able to act appropriately in the face of frustration and we carry out a healthy and adequate physical and mental development . In addition to these aspects, a high self-esteem makes:

– Let us have less accumulated tensions and do not burden less, thus avoiding anxiety, depression, etc.

– Let us better assume our responsibilities and have the feeling of controlling them adequately.

– Let’s enjoy social relationships and interaction with our environment.

– We have a greater capacity for empathy and an attitude of active listening towards others.

– Let us have fewer fears and fears of rejection and failure, turning these into opportunities to improve and learn from them, thus growing as a person.

– Increase our confidence in ourselves and our ability to manage and regulate our feelings and emotions.

– Grow our illusion, interest and ability to enjoy life.

– We have positive thoughts about ourselves, we value ourselves appropriately and we have an affective vision.

– Let’s set goals based on our abilities and taking into account our difficulties. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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