Many people feel uncomfortable when they have to start a new conversation with someone , but in reality, there are many ways to do it and make it work. What matters most in all of this is practice, so the more you practice, the easier it will be for you to start a conversation with strangers.

If you are one of the people who feels nervous in the stomach when you have to talk to someone new, this will stop happening to you from now on. Worry no more, there are a few ways to start conversations that will ease your path and make it much more natural for you. Each time you will feel less forced.

At the bar

You’re in a bar with some of your friends and you see a group of guys or two that you want to talk to.  You walk up to them and say that you and your friends made a bet so you can guess what they are drinking.  So, you tell them their drinks. Now, of course, smiling is key here. This is a great icebreaker because the important thing is not so much what you say to someone in a bar: they are there to chat and flirt with others. The important thing is to do it happily and without pressure

At this point it is important that you do not get attached like a leech. You have to evaluate if the boys want to talk to you more; if not, leave after you’ve talked about the drinks. At least you’ve managed to start a conversation and that should already make you feel good. Even if you leave and the guys want to talk more, they will come to you later in the evening when you’ve broken the ice. Just smile whenever you meet those people.

At a work event

You walk in and walk up to the person you want to talk to and ask if this is the event you were looking for. When they confirm, you introduce yourself, shake their hands, and ask them about their line of work. This is not flirting, but since it is a work event, you want to get started in business. Your attitude is what will be flirtatious: smiling confidently and having an engaging personality.

Maybe you arrive at the event and there are groups of people talking, in this case you just have to approach the group you consider and say something like: “I suppose you are all here for the work event. I’m Luisa.” It is simple and it works. If you have seen a person in the same group that you liked, the ideal is to approach the group and talk to everyone in the group.

Once you have ignored that person you like, you can say something like: “I think I have not heard what you do, what sector do you say you work in?” By ignoring him for the first time, you have shown that you are not a leech who will talk to him and only him; You have shown that you have social skills (talk to the rest of the group) and now you can get to know him better to feel if there is chemistry.

In a party

You see a person that interests you.  In fact, you may already be thinking about what to do. Talk to other people first. Don’t let him get away, but make sure you’ve made some friends so that you feel comfortable first and he sees that you are a social butterfly. Then if he’s in a girl group, walk over and congratulate one of the girls on something, probably her clothes or the way she’s done her hair. She will feel good and you will have broken the ice.

If they are very talkative, introduce yourself after a while. If they are not really talkative, you can say something like, “Are you enjoying the party?” That will move the conversation forward. Even if the girls turn out to be boring, or downright hostile, you can smile at the guy later, as you are officially speaking to him. If you are interested, you should walk sometime, or you can give it a try when I’m alone.

The most important thing is that if there are girls in the group and you are a girl, the ideal is to win them over so that everything flows. If you’re in a group of guys, you can go over and ask if anyone has seen your friend who you’ve lost (she just went to the bathroom). You can follow that up with, “She said she was going to the bathroom and now I can’t find her. Typical. She probably left with someone and now I’m alone here.” If they have any sense of chivalry, they will start talking to you. Of course, it has to be said with a twinkle in your eye: you don’t really feel alone. 

On the counter of a bar

If a guy is just waiting for a drink in a bar or at a party you can say something like, “This party is great” or “Funny. Looking at you, I would never guess you would order a whiskey and a coke.” If he has any social interests / manners, he will probably ask you what you think he would have ordered.

People are obsessed with themselves. As soon as you start playing psychoanalytic games, you have their attention, even with strange things like, “My friend and I made a bet on how much we could guess about people we don’t know tonight. I bet you prefer this kind of music. to another like rap “. If he says no, just say,  “Damn, my friend is starting to make her points about me. Maybe she’s the best mentalist after all?” Guessing games open the playing field for more guessing games.

Someone you already know

If you already know someone, you can say, “It’s a lot of fun! I was thinking about you yesterday.” What you say to someone is often secondary to your way of saying it: you have to be nice (smiling) and confident. If there is a group of people, talk to them before looking for the person you want to talk to.

If there are girls in the group, use praise. Otherwise, if someone wants the guy for himself, he will turn into a not so nice woman. If you can, choose topics that will move the conversation (like guessing games). If that’s not possible, have a list of follow-up questions. You can also weave it into an entertaining story about the time your friend also left you at a bar or anecdotal situations that come to mind. Never get attached to someone, check their body language. It is better to leave and return than to stay longer than expected … in the latter case, you could generate aversion to the person with whom you want to start the conversation.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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