Your friendships impact much more than your happy hours and your weekend plans. They affect your health, happiness and general well-being . In a 10-year Australian study published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health in 2005, older people with strong social networks lived longer than those without these ties. A 2000 study by other researchers found that women’s social circles help them respond better to stress.
A study published in the American Journal of Public Health in 2008 revealed that social connections can help delay memory loss in the elderly. But as important as they are, friendships can also be a source of stress and conflict. Sometimes they just disappear … If you have a friendship that you think should end, it is better that you reconsider what we are going to tell you next.
1. He is always late
Is your friend late or not showing up for your appointments? Do you make plans and then break them at the last minute? If the answer is yes, it is a sign that you could be in a friendship that is worth letting go. Maybe your friend just has a time management problem and is overdoing it every now and then. But if this is a consistent pattern, you will need to talk openly about it with your friend, explain how it makes you feel, and set limits and stick to them. For example, you can tell your friend that you will not wait more than 15 minutes for her at a restaurant before leaving. If the problem persists, you better find a friend who respects you and your time …
2. Friendships take away your energy
You can compare healthy friendships with healthy food: healthy food gives you energy and helps you grow and be strong. Healthy friendships are the same. They give you what you need, they help us grow, they lift us up when we feel like we are falling … But friends can also be like junk food , offering little in terms of nutrition and energy.
Unhealthy friendships drag us down, they don’t make us feel so good. They don’t give us what we need on an emotional level. If your friend is willing to listen to your needs and change her ways, it may be worth saving the relationship. Otherwise, skip the toxic relationship and look for “good food” elsewhere.
3. They are troubled friends
All friendships and relationships have conflicts from time to time, but what defines friendships will depend on how you deal with conflict. If you have a disagreement with your friend and he becomes defensive, yells at you, attacks you, takes things out of context, doesn’t listen to you, refuses to talk to you, or becomes physically violent, these are signs that he has poor skills. conflict resolution and may not deserve your friendship.
A healthy friendship handles conflict in a respectful way where both parties are heard. Nobody is perfect, but if your friend doesn’t listen to you, stay calm and apologize when necessary, there is little hope for a healthy and fulfilling friendship.
4. She only talks about herself
Your friend is constantly talking about her life and her problems, and you can’t seem to say one word followed by another. Even when you have an important topic to talk about, your friend won’t listen to you the way you deserve. This could be a sign that your friend is self-centered and doesn’t care about you, but it can also have deeper psychological implications.
People who talk too much may do so because it is difficult for them to deal with the emotions that arise from listening to another person. In these cases it is necessary to set a time limit to listen to them and be more aggressive to be heard. However, if your friend continues to speak for you, seek a friendship with a little more balance.
5. Has unhealthy habits
You may have been a friend for a long time, but it seems that now you are paying more attention to your health and your friend less, meaning that your friend continues to have unhealthy habits. He always wants to eat at fast food restaurants, but you gravitate towards salad bars. You would rather spend your time in the gym, but your friend is a television addict. Sometimes a little motivation can help your friend change his unhealthy ways … If not, be careful, that his bad habits do not drag you with him.
6. Doesn’t include you in his plans
Nine times out of ten it is you who calls your friend to spend time together, while your friend does not include you in their leisure plans. It is not about counting the number of times a person asks you to hang out in front of how many you ask, it is just feeling that there is justice in friendship and that you are both giving the same amount of interest, that is, that it is a reciprocal relationship in all respects.
When that balance doesn’t exist , you are likely to feel hurt and resentful, which is not healthy at all. If your friend doesn’t do more to improve your friendship after you’ve told them what your concerns were, it may be better to save your energy for a more reciprocal friendship.
7. Has a rude attitude
It’s almost as if your friend can’t control what comes out of her mouth. At parties she is rude or too loud, and you find yourself excluded from social circles because of her. Although it has other great qualities, it is preventing you from maintaining your other friendships.
You have asked her to stop, but she is unwilling or unable. It probably can’t change your friend’s personality and upbringing . Maybe, you’ve gotten over it and just need to have occasional contact. Schedule more individual time away from large group gatherings or parties where you are less likely to be embarrassed by that person’s behavior. If this is not possible, the friendship may not stand the test of time …
Remember that if a friendship doesn’t make you feel good, you don’t have to stick with it.