Perhaps your relationship as a couple (or with another person) is not going well and you think that it is the other who is to blame. But over time you realize that other relationships are also going badly and you start to think that the whole world is against you … It is better to stop thinking with this paranoid mentality and start thinking about what could really be happening: maybe the problem of your relationship is you.

Relationships don’t have to be easy, that’s something everyone knows. When someone misbehaves with you, it is very easy to play the blame game and put all the responsibility on the other person, especially when you believe that you are not wrong. The other person may have made a mistake or two, but chances are that you are not completely innocent.

If you are not able to assume the responsibilities of the things that you owe in any type of relationship, then that relationship will have an expiration date. You need to be aware of the signs that you are the problem. In this way, when you realize it, you will have to get the courage to admit it and thus, begin to solve things.

You put yourself first all the time

If you have ever given in on any issue so that your partner or someone else could “win” in the conversation or if you have made a small sacrifice to meet the needs of the other, then you can stop reading, you are on the right track.

Sometimes you have to put his needs first to make the relationship work and he has to do the same for you too. It’s called giving and receiving. On the other hand, if you can’t remember any instances where you’ve let him get away with it, then you need to know that you are the problem in the relationship. You should step back and work to change this bad behavior because no relationship of yours will survive if you continue to be selfish all the time.

He / she does everything

It takes two to tango. You know it by heart but are not ready to take it seriously. You don’t give your fair share of effort to make your relationship survive and thrive. You want to be the boss but all you do is sit back and wait for your partner to do everything for you. You don’t work with him like any good boss would to achieve the goals you’ve set as a couple.

You’ve been so busy asking him to do all the chores (bills, housework, etc.) that you haven’t noticed that he’s the only one doing all the heavy lifting and is near his breaking point. If these things seem true to you, it is not the end yet. You can take small steps to make your partner feel that they are not inferior to you but that you are equal in the relationship.

You turn to the stone wall

After heated arguments, are you the type to ignore your partner? Cold wars are not great and if you play them in your relationship every time you get into a fight with your man, you will both explode soon.

So before you do, be humble enough to reach out to him after you’ve both had a chance to calm down. Talk about the problem because communication is what really helps relationships go well. Finding a solution together to a problem is the best you can do.

You do not compromise

All healthy and successful relationships involve commitment.  If you do not want to commit, that relationship has an expiration date. There are things that you should never sacrifice for your partner, such as: your personal space or your professional life. But if you really love the other person, you can find a way to balance the balance between your needs and theirs, you can find a compromise that makes you both feel good.

You want to change your partner

You may not have noticed, but your boyfriend is not a science project you should be working on! Yes, he is not perfect. Yes, it has some problems, but you have problems too. Respect him for who he is and don’t try to make him who you want him to be. Of course, you should at least work to be a better version of himself, but that is up to him to decide. Your part as a couple is to support and guide him all the time, not change him because you want him to be someone that you have imagined him to be … and that is only in your head.

You focus too much on their flaws

We don’t know why you would hurt someone you love by focusing on their blemishes, but if you do, you are definitely the problem in your relationship . To fix this big mistake and win back your partner’s heart, you must be humble enough to say “I’m sorry.”

Then you have to make sure to validate his feelings, affirm, and appreciate the good things that he has done in the relationship as well. It will boost your morale and can help return his affection to you.

You have high and unrealistic expectations

Having expectations of each other is totally fine and normal. However, if the expectations you’ve set are unreachable and seem even absurd, then you shouldn’t be surprised if your partner doesn’t live up to it … and don’t be disappointed by it. It is best if you sit down with your partner to discuss those expectations and then make sure they are realistic and achievable for both of you … if not, your relationship will have an expiration date.

You don’t notice when you’re wrong

Admitting you’re wrong is something else, but before you get to that point, you’ll first have to acknowledge that you made a mistake. If you don’t, then that’s a big problem. Chances are you’ve made a mistake in your relationship more than once and haven’t realized that it can cause your partner to harbor a secret grudge against you. In this sense, it is better that you pause and consider the times you have had arguments and if you thought or said something that could hurt your partner but you did not apologize for it.

If you hurt your partner even inadvertently, then you have to be brave enough to admit it and ask for forgiveness. That is a step to rebuild trust and strengthen the relationship and your emotional bond .

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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