You may have that inner voice that sabotages you and makes unmotivating comments from time to time. That internal criticism appears at the least opportune moments: when you are about to do a conference, when you meet someone new, when you go to examine yourself, when you look in the mirror of your house before leaving the door …

In any situation, hearing these negative thoughts about yourself can be upsetting at best and demoralizing at worst. For this reason, we want to encourage you to turn down the volume of that critic who only says unproductive things, or at least, if he is not completely silent, that you learn how to deal with it effectively. Follow these tips so that the voice in your head brings out the best in you, instead of bringing out the worst …

Accept that you won’t have positive thoughts 100% of the time.

Accept the fact that you will never have positive thoughts 100% of the time. Negative thoughts never completely disappear because they are part of you, of any human being. Instead, the decision of how to deal with this inner voice and how it affects you is something that only depends on you.

Recognize negative thoughts

One helpful thing you can do when negative thoughts enter your mind is to recognize them for what they are.  The first step in controlling self-critical thoughts is noticing that they are happening. This negative internal monologue can become so familiar that we do not always recognize that it is happening … because we have become used to it.

Negative self-talk is more powerful when you don’t know it because you are more likely to believe what you are thinking and identify with those thoughts as if they were true . Identifying thoughts of this type will help you overcome that negative voice.

Have positive affirmations on your mind

A quick trick you can use when a negative thought starts in your mind is to respond with predetermined positive affirmations. Identify your main negative thoughts and automatically change them to a positive phrase.

You will need to use affirmations that reinforce the positive opposites of what you initially think of as negative . For example, change the thought “I am fat” to “I appreciate my body” or change “I am not good enough” to “I am worthy and good enough”. Repeat positive affirmations every time your negative voice enters your mind. Adapt the sentences to what is happening to you.

Write negative thoughts on paper

One of the most effective strategies to eliminate negative thoughts is to get them out of your head and put them on paper. To make this exercise even more effective, cross out each negative thought and write something more powerful under it. 

It will only take a few weeks for you to become aware of your negative thoughts before they are fully formed in your mind. Often writing down the thoughts in your head on paper can help take some of their power away from you.

Negative thoughts should not have the last word

Don’t let your negative conversation have the last word on your mind. If you are not in a place where you can write, just say something like, “thank you, but no thanks” to those useless thoughts.

One of the biggest struggles with the dialogue internal negative is that people often identify their thoughts as themselves, ie, as if defining them. By acknowledging the thought (thank you) and then immediately rejecting it (no thank you), raise awareness that it is not all the random thoughts in your head and develop the power to consciously choose to accept only those beliefs that help you improve as a person.

Change the relationship you have with yourself

Countering negative talk by being kind to yourself is an important habit to practice. Self- pity is the antidote to self-criticism. We are all desperate for our own acceptance and compassion. If we realize that we believe in an inner critic, we can intentionally change to offer ourselves a kind word, such as’ I’m sorry, you are suffering; I care about you ‘or’ You are not alone. ‘”This process begins to change the relationship you have with yourself and allows you an alternative to following a negative path.

Focus on the small accomplishments rather than worrying about the big challenges or failures. For example, instead of thinking, “I will never lose the weight,” you can say something like, “I’m so proud of myself for not having a second serving for dinner tonight.”