Nowadays there are many parents who have to face the rebellion of their children, who tend to have a relationship with them in which bad manners and disobedience are usually present. In fact, this is a more common problem than it seems and there are many parents who wonder if the culprits of this situation have been them.

To deal with this situation it is important not to focus on finding a culprit but to realize as quickly as possible how important it is to try to change it. In fact, the reasons why children become rebellious can be many, since each person is different. Some of the most common are:

    1. Traumatic situation: The death of a loved one or any other such painful event usually affects on a large scale and more when it comes to living it at a young age. Children do not understand the reasons for such losses and change their behaviors by becoming more rebellious and blaming the world and everyone around them for these misfortunes. Although it is advisable to ask for the help of an expert in any case, in these in particular, even more so since this situation can be overcome much better.
    1. Low self-esteem and insecurity: Sometimes behind the facade of rebellious children, people with low self-esteem and self-esteem hide who try to hide and reveal themselves in the worst way. It is important to try to reach his heart and make him see that his parents are not enemies but that they want the best for him.
    1. Permissive education: One of the most common reasons why children become rebellious is because of the education they have received from their parents or simply, the habits they have seen in their homes. For this reason, it is very important to consider how this education is going to be managed from very early on since the mistakes that are made with the little ones may pay dearly in the future. In fact, the youngest age is one of the fundamental ones for the consolidation of the behavior of these little ones.
    1. Difficult personality, temperament or strong character: Whether hereditary or not, there are many children who tend to be rebellious by nature since they have a personality or character that encourages them to do so. However, despite the fact that everyone has their own way of being, things can always be done well and therefore, it is possible to make children understand the importance of having good behavior regardless of their personality. That is, having a strong character does not imply having bad manners.
  1. Problems : Sometimes bad behaviors may come from depression or other problems.

How to encourage change in these children?

To achieve real change, it is good not only to have expert help but to put the following tips into practice:

    • Reward good behaviors: It is good for children to see that good actions are recognized for them and that therefore, they feel that they are doing well and want to continue on that path.
    • Set rules and limits : This aspect is the most important since children must feel that they do not have total control of their lives and that therefore, their parents are the ones who mark certain aspects of them due to their age. It is good to set standards early because if this is not done, it may be too late later.
    • Create routines at home: Meals, schedules and other types of routines must be created by parents so that the child gets used to them and therefore does not tend to disobey.
    • Remain calm : It is very important that parents do not lose their temper or catch up with the children because then, the latter will have won. It is important that parents can explain things to them calmly and the relationship between them does not become a real chaos .
    • Motivate them to improve: This is something that can be done in many ways. Parents are the ones who know their children best and will know how to do it in each case.
  • Try to understand them and reach them: It is good that the little ones manage to open up with their parents and show them what they carry inside. This may be the reason for their behavior. Therefore, it will be necessary to get positions closer together.

Tips for Parents to Follow

Although the work should take place around the attitude of rebellious children, parents should also know that their role and behavior will be a key factor in achieving these goals. The reason is that, although sometimes it may not seem like it, parents are a point of reference for children to look at. Therefore, they should take into account some of the following tricks if they want to end the rebellion of their children:

    • First of all, they should set an example for the little ones. This means that if the child receives bad answers or expresses himself in bad ways, it may be because he has seen it in his parents. Therefore, parents should teach by example and in this way know that if the child takes rebellious attitudes it is not because they have not been a good role model. In fact, it is good for parents to take this position, since if not, the children may at some point justify their attitudes with theirs.
    • Second, rebellious children should not be badly accustomed . This means that your requests made with good manners can always be attended to, but not those in which bad words or disrespect are the protagonists. It is important to make him see that he cannot be spoiled for everything and teach him through little lessons. As much as it hurts parents, this will be the best way to learn, not giving in.
  • Third and last, it is good for parents to recognize the good behaviors and manners of rebellious children as this will be a way to motivate them to follow that path and leave bad actions or bad manners behind . It is about children who show rebellious attitudes to realize that parents change their attitude a lot with them when it is good. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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