Promoting the idea of ​​free love often comes with a lot of strange looks and a question of what kind of depraved home it is that you grew up in. Is it really bad to break tradition and date or marry multiple people at the same time? Is monogamy really the ideal situation, or does being polyamorous have its advantages? Both parties have advantages and disadvantages, so ultimately you have to do what feels right or feel better about yourself and your surroundings .

Polyamorous relationships

Being poly means dating more than one person at a time.  Sometimes these open relationships last for years, and all members understand and cooperate in wonderful ways. But having multiple partners carries risks and alienation from those who see monogamy as the only way.

Pros of polyamorous relationships

    • Free love. You can fall in love freely and you don’t have to worry about limiting your feelings to one person for all eternity and this feels like a liberating thing. You feel free from the changes of social constructions. You will be repeatedly rewarded with new experiences gained from being able to love as many people as your heart desires.
    • Personal growth. Polyamory can be quite a challenge, because you can meet people who will bring you face to face with the latest version of yourself and then show you how you can change once more, finding a newer and better version. You will be more open to a constant rush of new experiences, adventures, and possibilities. Polyamory is certainly not about settling down … but about enjoying the emotions towards oneself and towards others.
    • Have opportunities. Dating more than one person means that you have the opportunity to meet a lot of people at the same time. This opens up opportunities to find one or two human beings that you want to stay with for more than several months.
  • Support. Having multiple partners means that you have additional pillars of support from those around you. When someone around you is not available, you will have other people who love and respect you to be able to comfort you in the moments when you need it.

Cons of polyamorous relationships

    • Jealousy. People in polyamorous relationships generally start to feel jealous when they are “not the apple of the eye” of another person. It is human nature, after all.
    • Instability. Since you can be trading partners all the time, trying to find people who are compatible or just tolerant of each other can be challenging. You will also realize that it is quite difficult for other people to get along even if you are the point of union of the polyamorous relationship .
  • Social ostracism. Polyamory is generally frowned upon in most societies and religions. It is considered unacceptable and therefore both you and your partners may not be treated well or accepted in many communities.

Monogamous relationships

It is the traditional relationship where two people come together.  Monogamy generally occurs when two people have been together for a certain period of time and decide that there is no one else in the world that they would rather spend their time with. Of course, some cultures only allow monogamous marriages, while others are more fluid in their approach. Because of this, some people wonder if monogamy is better than polyamory.

Pros of monogamous relationships

    • Less risk of suffering from sexually transmitted diseases . Having just one partner is great when you’re afraid of contracting an STD from someone you randomly slept with one night. Because you are having sex with a person, you know what he has and what he does not have.
    • Economic security. The two of you may have your own jobs, but you are meeting your income for a larger amount of money than you would have on your own. In other words, a monogamous relationship helps you reach your financial goals faster and gain a sense of security with debts, bills, and other expenses that would be challenging to overcome if you are living and working alone … or having polyamory.
    • The tradition continues. Many cultures and religions pride themselves on monogamy. For those who seek to maintain tradition and not be expelled from society, they are more likely to opt for a monogamous relationship. Also, because monogamy is more widely accepted than polyamory, you have a larger dating pool.
  • Emotional security. In a committed and monogamous relationship, two people come together to form a team. You never have to worry about being jealous or not feeling loved, because the two of you must love and respect each other. That is not to say that there will be no problems … But when that happens, you will have the clarity of knowing what to do and how to do it, even if it means leaving the person single for a while.

Cons of monogamous relationships

    • People change. No further explanation is needed. The people change over time. The person you fell in love with can change, and you may not be able to leave the relationship once you are committed to that person.
    • Boredom. Like the downside above, when people don’t change, you sometimes get stuck in a rut. This will seriously affect the monogamous relationship.
  • Loss of sense of adventure. In general, settling down means giving up the hopes and dreams  you had for a future and now only your partner is in it, so you should also worry about someone else’s future, not just your own. Now, you also need to worry about someone else’s future.

The way you live your life and the people you want to love comes down to choice. Monogamy and polyamory have their advantages and disadvantages. In the end, you should be able to communicate with your partner what you want and feel. It is not uncommon for polyamorous couples to finally revert to monogamy after several years … People change, and so does their own concept of love . So be open to anything and never stop looking for happiness in yourself.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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