It is normal that if you have just gone through a romantic breakup you feel a bit down . Even if you are the one who has decided to end the relationship, you will go through a stage of changes, in addition to that you will have to start a new life without having that person by your side , with whom it is likely that you have shared many moments, some happy and others, perhaps not so much, by their side for months or even years.

Whatever the reason the relationship has ended, a breakup always means a difficult moment. You may still love your partner, but you have decided to end the relationship for your emotional sake or that the person you love no longer feels the same about you or has met someone else. In these cases, you are likely to consider the breakup more difficult , since it is likely that you are in love with this person and you should gradually stop feeling this feeling.

In other cases it is likely that love has faded over time, perhaps because it has not been cared for as it should. So, on these occasions the breakup may not be such a strong emotional shock , but it will generate many changes in your life, especially if you lived together or shared friendships or hobbies. From the moment you put an end to the sentimental relationship, you should start a new life on your own and that deserves that you be strong and that you take care of yourself physically and mentally as you deserve in order to be happy.

However, this evolution will not be linear, so it is normal for you to go through different phases of heartbreak until you feel whole again and want to meet another person with whom to start a relationship. It is essential that you have gone through these phases , regardless of their order, in order to have overcome the emotional breakdown. If you start another when you have not yet overcome the break with your previous partner, it is most likely that you repeat patterns or you are not sentimentally in a stable moment and it does not finish working as well as you would like.

1. Fight or denial phase

It is likely that if you are the one who wants to end the relationship, you want to fight for it until the last moment . You may see quite clearly that you no longer have a future together, but still you want to keep fighting to ensure that the break does not occur. It will be at this moment that you should reflect on whether it really does you good to be together or if you would be better, both of you, each one going their own way and making their life. This is not a selfish decision, but quite the opposite, since you would be happier by taking the appropriate option.

If they have left you, you may also want to fight to maintain the relationship, maybe even knowing that the breakup is the best way. In the event that the couple does not want a second chance and believes that the breakup is the best option, you may go through a phase of denial , making it appear that this conversation did not take place and behaving as if nothing had happened, avoiding standing up. to heartbreak , something that could end up hurting you more, so the most appropriate thing would be to accept the facts and adapt to the new situation.

2. Anger phase and subsequent acceptance

Especially in the event that it was your partner who has decided to end the relationship or if you have discovered something that you have not wanted to tolerate anymore and have ended up with an abrupt sentimental breakup , it is very possible that you go through a phase of rage in heartbreak . At that time you could say things to your partner that you might regret, so you should control this anger as much as possible and try, little by little and with the help of your loved ones, to reach a later stage of acceptance.

Perhaps it would be convenient if you did not try to find the why of everything , that is, why your love has deteriorated, for example, or why it has sought a parallel relationship, in the case of deception. The best thing is that you accept this new stage of your life, avoiding that heartbreak can make you feel bad and looking for ways to find well-being with yourself, taking advantage to do things that perhaps as a couple you did not have time to do , love yourself and take care of yourself to move on to the next phase of heartbreak.

3. Negotiation phase

It will be in this last of the phases of heartbreak that you have gone through denial, anger, perhaps great sadness or negativity, to reach acceptance and subsequent negotiation . During this last of the phases of heartbreak, it will be the moment during which you will have learned to love yourself and you may have discerned what it is that you are really looking for in love. By having stopped being in love with your old partner and tried not to hold a grudge , you will have a clear mind to meet a person with whom you could start a new relationship, as long as you have learned from the mistakes of the past and can enjoy yourself again. of love.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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