Feelings of insecurity can often hamper a person’s ability to function in personal, professional, or social situations. You need to learn to overcome it in order to have a successful life both in the present and in the future. If you tend to anticipate things in a negative way or feel that you need the approval of others to make a decision, then yes, you probably should follow our advice to overcome the insecurity that plagues you.

Are there times when you don’t feel anything even though you’ve accomplished a lot? Are you always putting yourself and your achievements down? Do you find yourself bogged down by feelings of inadequacy and not being enough? Is accepting a simple compliment a challenge for you? It is inevitable that we all feel a certain degree of insecurity at one point or another in our lives. It is part of being human. However, at what point does it become excessive? What causes constant insecurity? How to overcome it?

Causes of insecurity

There are a variety of things that can lead to insecurity, some consciously but most unconsciously. In some cases, when you realize this, it is already deeply ingrained within you. The most common causes of insecurity include:

  • Children’s experiences. Hearing negative things about yourself constantly as a child from people who are supposed to guide your growth can lead to deep-seated insecurities in adulthood.
  • Destructive relationships. Being in a relationship that is sucking life energy out of you without replacing it with anything good can lead to insecurity if you stay in that relationship for an extended period of time. The situation is worse if you view the relationship as a measure of your success in life. When the relationship disappears, it takes your feelings of security with it. Another instance is thinking that you are not good enough for your partner and being very possessive because you are afraid that they will leave you.
  • Constant setbacks. Some people are so determined that they see failure as a learning opportunity about what not to do and how to do it better next time. Some people, on the other hand, take failure seriously if it happens multiple times in a row. Eventually, the constant setbacks begin to erode self-esteem and lead to self-doubt and insecurity.
  • That what others think matters too much to you. Caring too much about what others think of you can make you insecure over time. Feelings like this may be linked to a childhood situation in which a person was excluded from a “gang of friends,” bullied, or grew up close to parents who criticized how they appeared to people outside the home.
  • Other matters of life. Certain traumatic life events can lead to insecurity. Events like an unpleasant divorce or a significant financial loss like bankruptcy.

Whatever the reason for insecurity, if not addressed as soon as possible, it can prevent a person from forming and fostering healthy emotional and professional relationships. It could also cause crippling feelings of anxiety later in life.

How to overcome insecurity

Next we are going to tell you the steps you need to know to be able to overcome insecurity and have a full life.

    • Acknowledge the situation and understand how your internalized thoughts are sabotaging your chances of living a full and happy life. Once you realize how your mind misleads you into feelings of insecurity, it is easier to control and redirect these feelings.
    • Look around you and evaluate what kind of people you have in your life. Are they the right people? Do they make you feel good? Remember that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Cease contact with anyone in your life who reinforces your feelings of insecurity.
    • Think about when in your life these feelings began to arise. Try to get to the source of the feelings. Was it something in your childhood? A bad relationship? A domineering boss at work?
    • Have a plan. Have a plan to confront the origin of the thoughts. If it was a parent or friend, sit down and talk to them about how their behavior hurt you, for example. Of course, this is not always possible, and sometimes in life, you just can’t retrace your steps. In this case, write it down in a journal.
    • Write down the things that you have been successful in. Write down all the things you have been successful at. The more you write down, the more your confidence level will rise. Put that writing in a place where you can see it every day and remember that you are an amazing and amazing person. Every time you accomplish something, add it to the list.
    • Failure is part of life. You have to keep in mind that failure is part of life. Everyone fails at one point or another; even the most successful person on earth has failed before. Understand that you are not alone and that life has not singled you out for suffering.
    • Create an affirmation wall in your bedroom.  Write powerful messages about who you are and how you want to think about yourself in small posts and paste it on your wall. Read them every day. Think about them while you fall asleep. Whenever you feel a negative thought, focus and replace it with a positive thought.
    • You can’t change everything about yourself and that’s okay. For example, if you hate the shape of your head, there is nothing you can do about it. Accept it as part of what makes you unique. Everyone has something about themselves that they don’t like. This does not make you an inappropriate person.
    • Practice the law of attraction. By training your mind to focus on positive situations, experiences, and people, you will attract positive experiences and people into your life. Whatever you focus on will manifest in your life.
    • Seek therapy. Talking to a qualified professional can help you solve your problems and empower you to become a much stronger person.
  • Working and trying to overcome insecurity will not be easy. This is something that has been with you your whole life and you will feel anxious about having to give up and leave that zone that has become your comfort zone. Be mindful of this and make a conscious decision to rise up to the situation and reject it whenever you feel insecurity looming. Remember that you are a unique person and there is no one else like you in this world. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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