Nobody likes to confront others, because that means having to alter the mood and defend ideals “tooth and nail”. Although the confrontation does not have to be aggressive, with empathy and assertiveness you can say what you think without hurting the other and setting the necessary limits for a good relationship and a good conflict resolution.

A total lack of confrontation may sound like a peaceful existence, but those who suffer from a fear of confrontation know that it can be one filled with unhappy moments and a lack of self-assertion.  If you suffer from a fear of confrontation, the thought of asserting yourself can be upsetting and terrifying, and it can also prevent you from living the life you want. Overcome your fear of confrontation by learning the correct way to confront someone in a civil and proper way to get the best possible results.

With these tips you will stop having anxiety every time you have to have a confrontation either at work or in your personal relationships . Remember that having a confrontation does not have to be synonymous with aggressiveness of any kind.

Choose your battles well

Choosing a fight over the smallest problem is the wrong way to approach confrontation. After arguing with you several times, someone may dismiss your concerns or dismiss you as an unpleasant and confrontational person . Sometimes when the issue is important enough to you that you feel like you need to assert yourself, evaluate the possible outcomes of the confrontation to decide if a battle is worth fighting.

Take a break

Starting a confrontation in the heat of the moment can be one of the things that has gotten you in trouble in the past, and therefore be wary of the confrontation. This is because when you are upset or angry, it is likely that you are not thinking in the most appropriate terms, your rational mind may be somewhat blocked. When you feel anger boiling inside you, take a minute and walk away.  Don’t be ashamed to tell the other person that you will talk to him again as soon as possible so that you can recover and think more rationally … in fact, this is the smartest way to go.

Set up

If you’ve ever been caught in a confrontation with someone who is better versed and more prepared than you, you know how upsetting it can be when you don’t properly understand your point of view or even when they make you doubt your own thoughts . That is why you should prepare for the confrontation carefully.

When you have to confront another person , gather objective data to support you, have good arguments prepared and do not shut up when your opponent has finished making his arguments. Remember that what is necessary is to stick to the facts and be ready to make suggestions or even requests for change if necessary.

Use a formula to improve the situation

Using a formula when faced with a confrontation can help you stay on track and on the issue at hand, without getting caught up in unnecessary argument and debate. When confronting someone, start with a positive statement, such as “I know you’ve been working hard lately and I appreciate your efforts .” 

From there, make the statement you need to make, and then give the other person a chance to respond.  Don’t retaliate, make unsubstantiated claims, or say anything derogatory.  Simply show your point of view or ask, if necessary, that the other person take some time to think about it. This allows you to stay in control of the confrontation so that you have less fear and more time to think .