Making new friends means exposing yourself, and that can be scary. It is especially intimidating if you are someone who has been betrayed, traumatized or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure attachment bond. But by working with the right therapist, you can explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships.

Friends are part of us and if you feel that you are lacking in them, it is likely that you feel that the time has come to make more friends around you. For more general insecurities or fear of rejection, it helps to assess your attitude . Do you feel like some rejection will haunt you forever or show that you are unpleasant or destined to have no friends? 

These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections and can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.  First of all you have to feel that you are valid and that you do not have to pretend to make friends, in fact if you have to pretend those friends will not really be good friends for you.

Make friends without fear of being rejected

Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthy ways to handle these situations. Do not miss some tips that you can start taking into account today to put into practice in your mind:

    • Just because someone isn’t interested in talking or hanging out doesn’t automatically mean they’re rejecting you as a person . They may be busy, distracted, or have other things to do.
    • If someone rejects you, that does not mean that you are worthless or that you cannot be loved. They may be having a bad day. Maybe they misunderstood what you said. Or maybe they are not a good person and they deserve you in their life!
    • You will not like everyone you meet, and vice versa. Like dating, building a strong network of friends can be a numbers game . If you have a habit of regularly exchanging a few words with strangers you know, rejections are less likely to hurt. There are always more people. Focus on the long-term goal of making quality connections, rather than obsessing over the ones that didn’t work.
  • Keep rejection in perspective. It never feels good, but it is rarely as bad as you imagine. Others are unlikely to be sitting around talking about it. Instead of punishing yourself, give yourself the courage to try and see what you can learn from the experience.

If you want to have good friends, be the best friend yourself, first with you!

Making a new friend is just the beginning of the journey .  Friendships take time to form and even longer to deepen, so nurture that new connection. To make good friends despite your fear of rejection, you should put the following tips into practice:

    • Be the friend you would like to have.  Treat your friend the way you want him to treat you. Be a trustworthy person, be considerate and be willing to share your time with that person to create good emotional bonds.
    • Be a good listener. Get ready to listen and support your friends the way you want them to listen and support you.
    • Give your friend space.  Don’t be too absorbing or needy. Everyone needs space to be alone or to spend time with other people as well.
    • Don’t set too many rules and expectations.  Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You are both unique people, so your friendship will probably not develop exactly as you expect or how you imagined.
    • Be forgiving.  No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship goes smoothly, so when there’s a roadblock, try to find a way to get over the problem and move on. This can make your emotional bond become much stronger than you imagine right now.
  • Interpersonal relationships are not easy, but the fear of rejection should be forgotten. Whoever rejects you or does not see the value you have as a person, should simply be out of your life because they will not deserve your time or your friendship.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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