Surely you know someone who has a lot of confidence in himself and it seems that everything is going well for him. Perhaps that person is not afraid of arrogance … but they have the same probability of having their internal thought processes automatic that impacts their actions and feelings, but they have learned to feel confident even if the circumstances are not perfect, that gives them control of the situation. A big advantage!
But this is not always the case in people. Perhaps you have ever been in the situation of having a conversation with a person and later, regretting some of the words you have said. This may have happened to you both face to face and on social media. The reality is that when this happens to you, then your mind goes into hyperactive mode thinking about what you have said and what you should have said, repeating that disastrous conversation over and over again, just for not having thought before what was going to come out. through your mouth.
They stay with your trust
If you lack confidence it is possible that you talk too much or that you never really share what you think … You think it is not necessary for you to say it, because others will not understand you, or you simply think that what you think is not important. You think that you are not capable of being safe and relaxed in social relationships, you may think that others are better than you.
The thoughts that are allowed to run in our minds can affect our actions and that impacts the results. Therefore, the incredible thing is that if you want to obtain better results you need to change your thoughts.
Be in control of your automatic thoughts
First of all, become aware of the automatic thought patterns that you find yourself in. When you notice them, think about whether they work for you or if they cause you discomfort. For example, if you tell yourself that you don’t want to continue smoking, do you stop smoking? Do you smoke the same even though you know it’s bad? Do you reduce consumption until you reach your goal of quitting smoking? You must know what your way of thinking is like and understand how you perform actions.
When you decide to face this, you will have to assess what your automatic thoughts are like. To do this, follow the following tips:
1- Become aware of the automatic thoughts that you let be in your mind
2- Stop the thoughts that bother you
3- Choose a new , positive and motivating thought to put aside negative automatic thoughts
Ideally, you should do this consciously for a week before going through the steps for a real change of mind.
Activate your positive automatic thinking
Yes, you can get your automatic positive thinking activated. Think of the people who seem to exude confidence, success, and happiness. How do they work? What do they say? How much do they listen? How do they stand? Where are you going? What are they talking about on social media? Sometimes noticing the traits of those you admire can help you act more like them and feel more confident about yourself.
However, it’s about noticing how this behavior makes you feel, and adopting it as your own. It may not work for everyone equally, but if it helps you, you can follow this strategy, and in no time, you will turn these actions into your reality. But it is not about imitating others, if not about looking for your true self, getting your self-esteem, your security and acting accordingly.
Accept yourself first
One of the reasons people minimize their potential is because they are afraid of what others might think of them. We are human and we have a social animal nature and you want to fit in with your environment. In this sense, many people want to be accepted and loved by others, and they forget the most important thing: to love themselves first and accept themselves as they are.
The simplest and most important way to like others is by being yourself, if you try to be who you are not, others will notice. If you want to be liked, you must first like yourself … If you want others to accept you, you must first accept yourself. And if you accept yourself and others do not accept you or do not know how to value you, then that will not be your problem.
The irony is that people hide who they are out of fear of rejection. Learn to accept who you are and people will automatically do the same to you. People accept the perception of reality that you bring them. If you act scared, others will see it, if you are nervous others will get nervous when they are by your side. If you smile, they will smile back.
It is our ego that tells us that people talk about us or do not like us. So put your ego aside, and start thinking about accepting yourself as you are.
Watch your life
Observe the areas of your life in which you want to improve and write down on a paper those automatic thoughts that prevent you. If you realize what those negative automatic thoughts are that are bothering you and preventing you from moving forward, then look for the solutions to each negative automatic thought and change it to other thoughts that are positive.
Your mind knows the truth and can allow you to find the solution to the problem you are experiencing. Let your heart realize how amazing you are and make another list that confirms all the good things you do and are capable of. If nothing comes out, ask your relatives and acquaintances, because they will surely help you find those answers.
You are capable of achieving great things and you have every right in the world to increase your own confidence, because in this way, you will be able to squeeze your full potential and advance in life as you deserve: with success.
If for any reason you feel unable to move forward in your life and every morning you wake up discouraged, then do not hesitate to go to a psychology professional to advise you and give you the tools you need to move forward and increase that self-esteem and confidence that you have, but at the moment, it is hidden.