On many occasions, people feel that we have something inside of us, be it anger, sadness , joy, etc., but we don’t know how to get it out or how to externalize it; And it is that sometimes expressing our emotions to others correctly is not an easy task.

However, that the person is able to do this correctly is important both on a physical and psychological level, since retaining feelings within us and not expressing them is one of the main causes of depression , anxiety, dissatisfaction with oneself. and even physical health problems, such as muscle aches, headaches, changes in eating rhythms, etc.

It is natural not to know exactly how to show our feelings to others, since it is something that is not taught as such, but doing so generates a feeling of improvement with oneself and with social, work relationships, etc.

Therefore, at Bekia we consider that learning to express emotions is of vital importance for a person’s integral life, but to achieve it, first of all we have to know ourselves , and therefore we give you a series of guidelines to follow with the which you can improve this aspect.

1. Discover what you are feeling:

To start, stop to think and discover what you are experiencing inside yourself, analyze what you feel inside, and the symptoms that this causes, such as: irritation, overwhelm, excitement, insecurity, etc. At the same time, try to find out what may be the reason that has originated these feelings, in this way we can foresee it in the future and be prepared for it.

2. Identify what feeling corresponds to what you are experiencing:

It is important that you tell yourself what you may be experiencing, be it fear, anger, joy, etc; in other words, it turns your sensations into a basic emotion. Naming what we are feeling helps us understand the reason for that feeling; with which we can address it in a more positive way and give you the right answer.

3. Allow a few seconds to see how your body reacts:

Calm down and let a few seconds pass to see how your body responds, keep in mind that no emotion is good or bad, they only generate satisfaction or dissatisfaction, but this does not mean that they are not valid. Everything you feel, whatever the situation is, is valid, since each person experiences it differently; You just have to learn to manage it properly and give it a positive response.

4. Try to generate options to respond appropriately to the situation

After knowing what you feel and what you are experiencing, you must assess what could be the correct way to express it. In this step it is important that you avoid:

– Keep your feelings to yourself.

– Lying to others about what you are living or what this causes you.

– Explode and not be able to manage the emotion.

– Respond aggressively.

– Make an incorrect expression, that is, your body says one thing and your words another.

What other aspects can be important when expressing our emotions to others?

In addition to the guidelines that we have said previously with which we will be able to know how we respond to certain situations, there are several psychological tricks that can help the proper expression of our feelings:

– Speak assertively , that is, avoid blaming the other person, make them feel attacked, etc. For example, instead of saying: ” The other day you spoke badly to me and I am angry about it ” you can say: I consider that the other day you were not very nice to me and for that reason I feel somewhat disgusted with you. being a thought of yours cannot refute it.

– Try to make others understand you and be able to put themselves in your place. To do this, explain what you feel, the reason for that feeling, etc.

– Take into account the expression of your body , that is, help yourself to express what you feel and make it easier for the other person to understand you.

– Talk about the subject slowly and if possible with positive phrases.

– Use humor in serious matters that may cause discomfort to the other person.

– Show empathyThat is, take into account his feelings and ask him how he feels after listening to you.

– Take into account their opinion, do not try to impose your way of thinking , his as well as yours is valid.

– Choose a suitable situation to express your feelings to the other person.

What are the benefits of expressing your feelings appropriately to others?

There are many benefits that are perceived when a person learns and is able to positively express their emotions to others, both on a physical and psychological level. Some of these can be:

– You achieve that others are able to understand you and can empathize with you more easily.

– You feel calmer psychologically and more relaxed, since we are social beings and talking about what worries us causes us security and reduces our anxiety.

– You make negative situations less emotionally charged and easier for you to manage.

– People perceive that you trust them and you become more attractive and interesting.

– You facilitate the fact that others can help you in a complicated situation.

– You learn more about yourself and how you can act when faced with a problem, as well as what your strengths are and what aspects you should improve.

– Reduces the probability of suffering depression, anxiety, dissatisfaction or physical pain caused by excess emotional load.

– Increase your self-esteem and improve your self-concept.

– By knowing yourself better, you are able to put yourself more easily in the place of the other and show empathy.

What to do if I have no one to express my feelings?

In order to express your feelings, the presence of a second person is not always necessary, you can also express your own emotions to yourself and achieve the same result as if you tell others about them. Some of these ways can be:

– Write a diary , in which you tell yourself what you have felt in a certain situation, how you have lived it, what solutions you have seen appropriate, etc. In this way you will be able to resort to it in the future if you go through the same thing again and assess the form of action.

– Spend time a day for yourself , tell yourself mentally what your feelings have been, how you have felt, etc. It is important that in this process you are relaxed, indulging yourself and with enough time for yourself. You should also speak to yourself in a positive way, keep in mind that all emotions are valid and you are not to blame for feeling what you have felt. You just have to learn to control it.

– Exercise : Exercising is a good way to release your emotions and not repress negative feelings that may cause you anxiety or frustration.

– Make a list with all the possible positive solutions before a situation, in this way you will see how everything has a way out and that you are able to face the problems.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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