When someone says ” I’m not homophobic ” and accompanies that phrase with a ” but “, we are facing a clear sign that what they are going to say next is something homophobic. Because surely he is going to say some topic that does nothing more than protect the homophobia that is already present in our society , such as, for example ” but we are made to be with our opposite sex by nature “, or ” but with me, don’t try anything ” . This phrase is usually more common in heterosexual men, but surely you have also heard it in the mouth of a woman; It is one of the greatest examples of covert homophobia that you can imagine, because it covers all the taboos there are regarding it.He comes to tell us that he feels rejection towards the mere idea of ​​homosexuality, that he identifies it with sexual “perversion”, and that he believes that a homosexual person is attracted to all people of the same sex.

It is not only a demonstration of homophobia, but also of ignorance, of being anchored in an archaic culture that follows very strict religious patterns when it comes to setting social norms . This rejection of homosexuality is a problem, especially because what is being rejected is not only homosexuality, but also homosexual people; they are discriminated against, attacked and, on many occasions, even isolated due to the same homophobia.

The main problem is that this rejection of homosexuality is not always clearly shown , but hides behind those ” I am not homophobic, but … “. And right there is the catch. Because if you point out his homophobia, he won’t take long to give you any excuse; you will not want to understand that you do feel rejection, you will not want to evolve and, of course, you will not change your way of thinking. And homophobia, like biphobia and transphobia , are evils that we should completely eradicate from society in order to achieve full inclusion.

Homophobia is not just physical or verbal assault

There are those who, confused, believe that homophobia is just attacking a homosexual person in some way, but it goes much further than that. It consists of believing all the taboos that harm the people of this group so much , such as that they are really unfaithful by nature, or perverted on a sexual level; It consists of calling your sister’s wife her “friend” even though you know perfectly well that they have been married for ten years . This is also homophobia, and it also ends up damaging the self-esteem of all the people who have to suffer it in their day-to-day lives.

Although it would be necessary to go a step further, because many times this rejection of homosexuality is reflected in other more serious and harmful ways. Society has come a long way, but there are still places where same-sex couples still have to struggle to get into the hospital room when one of them is hospitalized, for example, because there are still those who believe that they are just friends and not family . When an adoption is involved, children also suffer from this latent homophobia. Because believing that a child needs both a father and a mother is not only homophobic, but also comes to belittle all those single-parent families, or that they simply move away from the model known as “traditional”.

Of course, in the worst cases, homophobia ends with direct verbal or physical attacks , capable of putting any homosexual person in a dangerous situation. All this is something that we should work on and avoid as a society, as a whole, promoting the inclusion of all minority groups and promoting that the rejection is not towards homosexuality, but towards homophobia. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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