Nowadays, many people find themselves having reactions or feelings of hatred and anger towards others or towards certain situations that they live. Something that is reflected in negative behavior on the part of these people, who feel anger, irritation and discomfort for almost everything day after day. But why is this hatred constantly being generated?

Normally people who perceive hatred towards others is due to unpleasant experiences they have lived . These experiences cause the person in question to isolate himself and over time, reject contact with others . That is to say, it is the bad drinks that he has had to live that make him put on a protective shield because he thinks that the same thing will happen again with any other person who crosses his path. In turn, this has the consequence that he explicitly or implicitly asks or demands a lot of attention from the people around him.

In other words, these people try to fill the social void that they have with the few people with whom they have a relationship . Something that can be overwhelming and in turn, generate rejection, this being received by the person in question as an injustice and a betrayal that makes them feel misunderstood. Ultimately, the person feels that everyone is bad, that nobody is worth it and that in order to suffer, it is better not to relate and to narrow their circle of friends more and more until a day will come when they will end up disappearing and the person looks lonelyand without any kind of support. That will be when complete isolation will come. Something that, in human beings, is incompatible with the word happiness. This is because people, by their very nature, are social beings.

The fundamental thing to avoid reaching the point that has been explained previously, will be avoiding having bad thoughts in the head and avoiding that the experiences completely condition the way in which the world is seen. That is, not to generalize the concept that people are bad, treacherous and that sooner or later they will end up failing. It is about cleaning the look and not seeing the negative in the behavior of others, something that sometimes does not even exist. Similarly, you should try to have a memory that is not selective for bad things. This comes to say that the person must remember both the good and the bad of others, and not only be guided by the negative partbut to value everything else. For example, if a person has had a breakup due to an infidelity with his partner, he should not feel that the whole relationship has been a cheat and regret everything. Although each story has its circumstances, it is clear that life goes on, and keeping the worst part or memory will only make the person live bitterly. The fundamental thing is to overcome situations , learn from mistakes and keep the good moments, which are the ones that will really benefit the person.

What to do to stop feeling hatred towards others?

    • Analyze the situations that provoke such hatred: Sometimes, the anger and rejection that is felt is precipitous and therefore, sitting down and carefully analyzing the situation will serve to reason and be consistent in the way in which to respond to different situations. It is recommended then to try to clean the experiences. That is, if what bothers the person happened a long time ago and was not repeated, you have to turn the page and not stay in the accumulated resentment. The fundamental thing at this time will be to focus on the present and what is lived in the future and put aside what caused pain .
    • Talk to the person who produces that hatred: If there has been something that has bothered the person, the most important thing is that you try to talk to the person causing that reaction in order to redirect the situation and prevent it from happening again . The end of the conversation , therefore, should be constructive. Otherwise, nothing will be solved and it will only make the situation colder and more distant.
    • Analyze your life and modify what you do not like about it: You have to think honestly about what does not offer positive things and try to change it . In short, set goals and objectives in addition to fighting to achieve them.
    • Find the positive part of others: It is about trying to value the positive aspects of other people. Although this is difficult at times (and more after some negative experiences), you have to be objective and think that everyone has defects or weaknesses . No one will go through the world without saying that they are wrong. Finally, it is also important to value your own positive aspects and think about them.
    • Put aside value judgments: Sometimes when information is missing, you tend to make conjectures or think about situations that have not really taken place. The fundamental thing at this point is not to judge until you know everything you need to be able to give a coherent opinion. As stated above, everyone is wrong.
  • Relate: Finally, it is a question of going back to what was commented on at the beginning. Isolating yourself is not good so you have to be able to relate and not be afraid or think that this can hurt. Do not generalize and think that just because you have been injured before that will never change.

Self-criticism, objectivity and temperance will be three aspects that will help the person to achieve all those that have been raised previously. Sometimes life leads people to difficult situations that they do not wish they had been through. The important thing in these cases is to know how to have a good answer and stay with the positive, since otherwise, you will never be able to live with complete peace of mind and happiness. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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