The anger is a normal and healthy feeling if kept under control, but if left unchecked can become a problem in your life .

The bad temper is a reaction to something that we do not like and that makes us feel that we have been attacked in some way. Therefore, the bad temper appears as a form of defense against a situation that harms us in some way. This reaction is usually disproportionate and irrational, designed to hurt another person, physically or verbally . Without a doubt, controlling our temper will help us not to lose friends or loved ones and to establish much healthier social relationships.

What can we learn from the bad temper?

Since we were little we have been taught to repress anger because it makes others uncomfortable and scared. However, repressing this emotion creates a mountain of explosive feelings within us that can explode at any time and in many different ways. These feelings can manifest themselves in physical illness, depression, self-destructive behaviors, or physical and / or verbal aggression towards other people. When we speak of a bad temper, we usually refer to having a hostile behavior , that is, to verbal and / or physical aggression towards other people.

Everyone has a physical reaction to anger, so being aware of the signals your body gives you is a first step toward calming yourself down. When a bad temper takes hold of you, your heart may race and you begin to breathe faster . These reactions prepare your body for action and are accompanied by others such as muscle tension.

The first step in changing the way you interact with others is to identify problems and accept our responsibility . For this, you have to honestly analyze yourself and review the role that short temper has played in your relationships . After this, the process of learning to identify and process feelings can begin. You regain power over your life when you become aware and commit to change the way you think and act that you have had up to the present moment. Faced with this change in attitude, emotions will no longer dominate your daily life.

Can you control the bad temper in full attack?

If you have had previous episodes in which you have lost control, the first step to relax is to get out of the situation that is bothering you . Putting a physical distance will allow your mind to gradually come out of that state and relax faster. Thus, your breathing and heart rate will stabilize by being away from the focus of your anger .

To consciously control temper a good tactic is to count to 10 while taking a deep breath – it takes longer to exhale than to inhale. Focusing on your breathing when you are angry or upset will undoubtedly relax you and help you to think more clearly about the situation that has affected you.

How to control the bad temper in the long term?

Once you can recognize when you are getting angry and can calm yourself, before you erupt , you can start looking at other ways to control your temper. We are going to see some routines that you can introduce in your daily life to control the bad temper :

  • Communicate your emotions . We have a social habit of saying that we are fine when they ask us “How are you?”, Even though we really are not. But talking about our feelings with people we trust can be helpful and help us see and consider other perspectives. It can also be constructive to talk to the person who has caused you discomfort , calmly, explaining the reason that made you angry and how you have felt.

You have to let go of bad thoughts

One of the characteristics of anger and that fuels generalized temper is that the mind concentrates on what is bothering us . Ruminant thoughts begin that increase discomfort, trying to justify our attitude and our anger. In reality, even if we think a lot and think about the same thing over and over again, we are not being reasonable at all and this seriously damages our personal relationships .

These obsessive thoughts that prolong anger are not useful, therefore, it is advisable to put them out of your mind as quickly as you are aware that you are letting yourself be carried away by your genius. It is important to avoid strong words like ‘always’ or ‘never’ because you will be falling into generalizations that increase your anger and that are not really true. It is also advisable to avoid using an imperative tone because it is part of an aggressive language that can make the other person feel badly, gratuitously. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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