Working on self-esteem is an extremely complicated thing in our current society. Complexes are the order of the day , especially in the physical sense. We are self-conscious about our legs, our belly, our arms, our face; We do not like that our thighs are too thin, but not too fat, and the same thing happens with the rest of our body. We don’t accept ourselves, we don’t value ourselves, we don’t love each other enough. And carrying so many complexes is too big a slab for us to live happily while carrying them around.

Society pushes us to believe that we will never be enough . Not slim enough, not athletic enough, not white enough (because yes, stereotypes affect black people more than white people, since they are judged by their skin color as well as other attributes) , not high enough. We are asked to reach a perfection that, far from being difficult to achieve, is totally impossible. The perfection that they show us in magazines, on Instagram profiles, is false. We all have little marks on our body, or little oddities, but it is precisely these things that make us unique even though we see them as flaws.

Faced with this social pressure, the only thing left for us is to accept all our features, accept our body as it is, and learn to love ourselves . Because there is no possible way to achieve happiness without feeling comfortable in our own skin. This does not mean that we change the aspects that we do not like (although we are free to do so, of course), but it is more related to accepting everything that we are and seeing it as something positive. Our body is much more than a package that we must keep beautiful, much more! All of this is very easy to say, but it is also difficult to do. Don’t worry: at Bekia Psicología we are going to help you accept all that which is complex for you , but which can really end up being your strengths.

1. Admit that the way you perceive yourself is subjective

The way you see yourself, how you see your proportions, your little marks, is totally subjective . What in you seems ugly, strange, inappropriate, in another person may even seem sweet. Because what is failing in you is not your body, but your self-esteem. And it’s no use going to the gym for two hours every day if you don’t learn to accept yourself.

You can improve this way of looking by simply looking at old photographs of yourself . Surely now you see yourself reflected in them and you do not look so bad, while at that time you did not know how to see anything but complexes in yourself. It is because you are distancing yourself from them, you are analyzing yourself as you would analyze any other person and not yourself. And that is what you must do even in the present!

2. Stop constantly self-analyzing

In English there is a lot of talk about the term self-conscious , which is something like being aware at all times of your entire body and how it looks. For example, sitting down and not being able to stop thinking about how that crease is marked on your belly. Or feel your pants dig into your thigh, and think that absolutely everyone is noticing it.

Whenever you feel this way, remember this: no one is analyzing you other than yourself . It is your self-esteem, your low self-esteem , that is hurting you. It is not the eyes of others, but your own that are treating you this way. So in your hand it is changing it little by little!

3. Your body is much more than something pretty

Stop thinking of your physique as something that should look good, and start seeing your body for what it really is: the tool that allows you to enjoy all those little (and big) moments that make you happy. For example: with your legs you can walk, with your hands you can caress, with your torso you can do physical activity that makes you feel good … All this is what is truly important!

Do not exercise to lose weight, or to improve physically, but to feel good about yourself . And forget about how those shorts could look on you, because they look great on you right now, being who you are!

4. Be careful with social networks: everything is manipulated

That perfect girl that you see on Instagram hides a life behind her , she will have a thousand complexes, she may have had to fight against her own problems with self-esteem and that she cannot accept the shape of her feet. But he is not going to show you any of that in the photographs, because what he wants to achieve with them is to sell a perfect life, to sell a certain product. The same thing happens with all those muscular guys who power their muscles with a thousand filters, or who pose in impossible ways.

Everything you see on social networks, in magazines, on television … Everything is previously manipulated to be sold as something perfect, although it probably is not.

5. Forget what you don’t like, and focus on what you do like

Don’t you like your legs? Nothing happens, you can work your self-esteem to understand that they are perfect as they are, because they allow you to live a thousand experiences or do a thousand things. Focus on how beautiful your waist looks, or the color of your eyes, or how smooth your hands are . Analyze everything beautiful about your body, and enjoy it! It’s not being cocky, it’s loving you. And there is nothing more beautiful than that.

Some exercises that will help you increase your self-esteem

Finally, we are going to give you some exercises that will help you feel better about your body and yourself in general . From now on, you will not be able to insult yourself, you will not be able to look in the mirror and think about all the bad things you have, but you will have to change all this for positive thoughts. You can start by writing a letter to your body, explaining why you love it or you should.

Are you afraid to wear a swimsuit or a bikini? Do it. Do it at home, in your garden, in a place where you are comfortable . Little by little, you will start to do it as something natural, you will feel good, you will feel comfortable with yourself. And, above all, rediscover yourself. Beware. Love yourself It will take time, but it is essential that you understand that you must be the love of your life, above all else.  

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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