In our day to day we talk to a large number of people and, logically, all of them have their own personality. It is common to start a conversation with a person and discover after a while that it was not as we had thought at first, or because it was more introverted than it seemed or the opposite.

Sometimes, we find a way of being that we can confuse with a surly or edge personality , but that does not necessarily have to be that way, since not everyone has a charisma that dazzles from the first minute.

Above all, it is important to know that an introvert is not the same as a shy person . Those people who are shy have a personality trait that can sometimes cause unwanted problems, in the vast majority of cases due to a fear of not acting as expected. This can cause that person to have an introversion in their personal relationships, but it can also be the case of an introvert who is not afraid of what others think but who, for any other reason, is not such a socially open person as is often expected.

Being a shy person is not being an introvert.

Therefore and once this is clarified, what is an introvert? If we must identify someone with this personality trait, we will find several common aspects in all of them, although always with the personal differences in each case. In this way, a person who prefers routine without changes to a life full of surprises can a priori fit the profile of an introvert.

If we delve into what a person prefers or does not prefer within their introversion to be happy , we discover that they need to spend more time than usual without the company of other people. The loneliness is not necessarily bad, as long as it is desired, and in the case of an introvert is also a necessity. Spending part of your day alone , without distractions or social activities, is exactly what an introvert needs to feel good.

Enjoying routine and moments of loneliness is part of introversion

Therefore, if we take into account that introverts are not great lovers of change, we can guess that they prefer not to get together with too many people and, especially, not to get together with new people.

The latter is precisely one of the traits that can most lead us to believe that he is a surly person, but nothing is further from reality, since it is only that for his stability he needs to have control of all his personal relationships with the security of not having surprisesnegative or being able to meet someone with whom you may have an uncomfortable moment with unwanted conversations. For this reason, it is on these occasions when introversion becomes more visible and introverts remain silent and add few contributions to the group conversation, going almost unnoticed. Although the rest of the speakers may believe that it is a shy person and someone may try to favor the conversation to get their incorporation, this would be a mistake, since the introvert prefers to be silent and force it to do anything else will become a situation uncomfortable for all parties.

Introverts prefer not to leave their small circle of friends

Obviously, all these aspects of his personality lead us to a person who apparently will have a not very flashy clothing, a home that does not stand out aesthetically from others and a rather discreet life, without attracting attention, although not lacking in success .

As in all cases, there are different levels of introversion, and surely many of us enjoy the routine, we prefer to be with the same people whenever possible and there are times when we prefer to be silent, but we also find moments when we need everything. Otherwise, meet people or talk about any topic to fill the time . Even so, it is important to remember that not all people need those moments and that they could lead them to a situation of unhappiness , therefore, if we are faced with a very introverted person, all we have to do is not force what does not arise in a way natural.

Knowing how to deal with introverts is important

When an introvert does not want to have extensive conversations with someone he has just met, it is precisely because he does not want the conversations to reach a friendship that later can take time or carry responsibilities that he does not want to have, and not for that reason the other person should feel ignored or belittled, because each person manages their environment as happier as it makes them feel and all the options are equally respectable, and of course they also make new friends so if there is a good feeling between both parties that will arise naturally. From now on, try to identify if the person you are facing is shy, introverted or surly, because perhaps that way you can treat them in the best possible way. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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