The freedom of one person ends where that of the rest begins. And precisely, controlling people are the opposite of this statement since they believe in the right to establish control over others , forgetting that they are people with the same rights and freedoms . In relationships, it is very common to meet people who suffer from these types of problems , either due to insecurity or complex . This makes their problems, they end up paying those around them. For this reason, it is very important to know how to identify a controlling person and try to help them, making her see her problem. If you can’t get it, the best thing is to get away from her .
Signs for identification
- Overprotection: A controlling person, in general, will try to be very above the other. That is to say, it is going to carry out an overprotection as if it were a mother or a father . About their actions, about their words, about their choices … Although at first they are facts that cannot be easily identified , you have to take them into account and know how to put a brake on that person so that they do not believe in the right to be able to take so many freedoms . The protection of those who are loved is good, but it has a limit since the person must know how to choose for himself and although the affection of others does not hurt, tooShe must know how to take care of herself and fend for herself , so as not to depend on anyone at all times.
- Isolate the other: It is very typical that a person who wants to have control over another, seeks that this is only for him or her. That is, you don’t like the other person having more friends , more relationships, or making plans with other people . You want it to be constantly available and if it isn’t, you are upset. As in the previous case, the controlling person is trying to fight against the freedom of the other to choose and therefore, having a controlling attitude that cannot end in anything positive.
- Know what is best for the other: It is very common for controlling people to talk to those close to them as if they know what is best for them and what they should do. That is, they believe that they have the power of absolute truth and therefore, they think that if decisions are made as they say nothing will go wrong . It is a serious mistake to allow a person to have this type of behavior since it is necessary to know that the best choices are those that are taken with the heart and guided by it. In the same way, each person must seek his own good and look, at certain times, for himself.. This will be precisely what the controlling people do not want, who will speak to the other of a common good for both as the best decision or choice they can make.
- Mood swings: A controlling person tends to have abrupt reactions at times when things are not done as required. Therefore, you have to pay attention to these details and see that the person knows how to accept or accept a refusal for an answer without reacting in a bad way.
- Wanting to know everything: People who have control problems are precisely because they want to know everything . This is a problem since the person does not have to tell you everything and to do it. Other gestures or actions that will expose a controlling person are things like checking the mobile phone , looking at phone calls, listening to your personal conversations, checking your personal belongings …
What does it mean to have this attitude of control?
It is clear that being a controlling person only has disadvantages , since there is nothing positive in wanting to dominate another person, taking away their privacy, not leaving them freedom and not trusting their words . However, if a series of negative aspects can be established that any controlling person will be able to live, their position worsens even more.
- Periods of anxiety and mental instability: When a person trusts others, they are calm and live in peace. However, wanting to have control over others and not being able to have it in its entirety, makes these people go out of their boxes and go through an anxiety crisis where their head does not let them live in absolute tranquility. This will be negative and in turn will affect other truly important actions or circumstances.
- Instansigence : Controlling people stop living many new and rewarding experiences because they do not get carried away and want to dominate everything. They will never embark on new adventures and therefore will never be able to experience certain sensations in life.
- Passive subject: Being a controller, makes that on many occasions, the person is blocked by not being able to dominate certain situations and that makes him remain in a constant indecision that leads him to remain passive and not realize or develop.
- Intolerance: The more control you want to have over situations, the more intolerant the person becomes . He wants things to be done his way and when they want, something that no one in the long term is usually willing to put up with .