In one way or another, everyone seeks to be happy. For some people, being happy will depend on few things, while for others, achieving happiness can be practically impossible . The perfect or happy life model has always been based on having independence, financial stability, a good relationship with the family , having a group of friends and of course, a partner. Although we do not all seek the same thing, the truth is that, if you have a partner, and something is not going well in the relationship, we tend to attribute all our problems to the fact that we are unhappy with that partner.

However, this is not always the case, we usually tend to pay with our partner for other problems that arise in our day to day, which in the long run, can result in a deterioration of the couple and a real problem. However, on other occasions the reason for our unhappiness may be directly or indirectly rooted in our partner , this is because when a relationship begins we tend to idealize the person and forgive or not give importance to aspects that we do not They like her, whether her lifestyle that does not complement ours or that they do not share hobbies or tastes or that simply the personality of each one collides.

Over the years these small details that we do not like will gain weight , for example, if your partner is very homey and does not like to go out and you are the opposite, you can see yourself “locked up” at home more than usual to please to your partner, or if, on the contrary, your partner lives in the city that you want but he does not like, he or she will end up being “locked” also in a place where they do not want to be. All this does not imply that you have to make the determination to end the couple, however, you will have to try to solve the problem and address it in a way in which both parties can reach an understanding.

How to achieve a happy couple relationship?

Experts say that the majority of couple conflicts arise due to differences in values ​​or lifestyles . Over the years, these differences can be linked to routine, boredom, lack of projects together etc … creating a difficult situation in which we can even consider ending the relationship.

If this begins to haunt our heads, there really is a problem, but if you really love the other person and do not want to break with everything that had been built up to now, there is a solution as long as both parties do their part . The bases for solving these problems are based on an improvement in attitude, on having more empathy, on a positive vision and on knowing how to act, below, we will detail them one by one.

The importance of communication and knowing how to understand

The first thing we should do is sit down with our partner at a time when both of you are calm, with phones off and without any distractions that may bother you during this moment. Then you must have a sincere conversation with your partner, tell him what is happening to you, what you think, what you need and most importantly, you have to listen to the other person . We can talk in a general way about the problem and how we think it could be solved, but we can also let the other person speak.

The important thing here is that you talk about what happens to you, with respect, keeping calm and trying not to cut off the couple when they give their opinion and without altering us if the other person does not understand us, and vice versa, if it is your partner who has a problem with something , you should try to understand it even if you think differently.

The pillars of a healthy relationship: Respect and trust

Respect and trust are two fundamental pillars in any relationship, your partner must be a person who supports , understands and respects you and vice versa. There is much talk about the importance of trust in love, but it is true, without trust there is no love, there is jealousy and control . If trust is lost, although it is difficult, it can be recovered, for this communication is important, expressing our fears and our doubts in the other person to try to solve it . Obviously, solving this problem goes much further than your partner (or you) telling you “don’t think nonsense, I would never do that”, and probably a good solution is to go to a therapist.

The complicity

It is important that between the couple there is complicity , and that hobbies or lifestyles are shared. As is normal, we must dedicate a few moments of the day to our partner, this is better if we have similar hobbies or tastes, spending leisure time alone is essential , we can also do it with friends, but we must try to separate the time we want to be alone, Of the time with our partner, of the time with our friends.

If you no longer do things together you have to try to do it again, go out, meet for a drink, go to the movies, go for a walk, remember what you did when you were not anchored to the routine and do it again.

Sex

Sex is essential in any couple, there are many factors that can determine the breakdown of the couple and in that sense one of them can be sex . Sometimes when we get comfortable with someone, we spend a lot of time with that person or working or have children, this is often neglected, we think that everything else is more important and we are wrong .

Sex brings together all the key points of a relationship : communication, respect, trust and complicity. If we do not communicate, we do not enjoy sex, if there is no respect we can harm someone in the couple, if there is no trust we will never be comfortable with the other person and if there is no complicity, sex can be a disaster.

Do not let the monotony end the passion in your relationship, think about going on a getaway or simply going to spend the night in a hotel, break the monotony , and do something different, it is that simple.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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