In life you will meet people of all kinds, supportive relationships are essential for people’s emotional health. But dealing regularly with people who are chronically difficult can even be detrimental to your health as it will cause you stress. This stress will make you wait physically and emotionally. In this sense, it is a good idea to reduce or eliminate relationships that are full of conflicts whenever possible. But what do you do if the person in question is a family member, a co-worker, or someone that you otherwise couldn’t easily remove from your life?
If you have difficult people in your life and you want to learn how to treat them without putting your physical or emotional health at risk, then you should keep the following tips in mind.
Avoid discussing personal, religious, political or other issues that may tend to cause conflict with a difficult person. If the other person tries to get you into an argument that will likely turn into an argument for treating you badly, change the subject or leave the room. If you are unsure whether your conversational style is too assertive or not energetic enough, you should assess your social skills.
Accept as it is
Accepting who he is does not mean that you should include him in your life all the time. If you don’t want to break the relationship, you can see him from time to time. The secret is to accept him as he is, do not try to change him, just learn to treat him to avoid conflicts and be able to have a cordial relationship. Do not enter into unnecessary or banal battles, it is not worth wasting your time and energy.
When dealing with difficult people, you should not try to change them because you will only get into a never-ending and exhausting power struggle. You will both be on the defensive and criticism will be assured, so things will improve. Don’t become a difficult person to deal with, because that is not worth going through.
You have the control
They say that two people do not argue if one does not want to, and in reality this is true. It is wise to choose your battles well and with difficult people it is better not to fight, just walk away because they are emotionally toxic and will only make you feel bad.
Change your response to that person, because you have the power and control of the situation. If you succumb to their provocations you will be giving the power of the situation to the other and also, you will be giving them the power of your emotions. Don’t let that happen. You must have the power of the situation and your emotions.
For example, don’t feel like you have to accept abusive behavior just to avoid battling a difficult person, because abusive behavior is unacceptable … You should use assertive communication to set the limits if the other person has chosen to treat you in an unacceptable way. If he does not pay attention to your limits it is because he does not care the least and in this case it is necessary that you move away, if you cannot do it physically at least do it, emotionally.
Create healthy patterns
Normally when there are relationship problems it is because of the dynamics between two people, rather than one person feeling that they are bad in a one-sided way. Behavioral patterns repeat themselves, and the interaction can become toxic (over and over, repetitively). People get used to this form of negative communication and it can even become a habit.
Changing the response to this type of interaction is the key to stopping it. The other person may be shocked the first few times, but that unhealthy pattern of toxic communication will soon be broken .
Responding in a healthy way can improve your chances of forming a healthier pattern. You will need to work good communication skills , empathy and assertiveness to be able to deal correctly with conflicts.
See the best in each person
It is not complicated if you look at how people are, not only in their bad parts but also in their parts. Above all, look at your relatives and focus on them and how they also have good parts. An important part of this is developing optimism and your skills to change perspective whenever necessary.
The other person will feel more appreciated by you and you will be able to enjoy your time together more. That person will be a little less difficult in your eyes and the conflicts will decrease progressively, it is worth a try!
Remember who the other person is
Seeing the best in someone is important, but don’t expect that person’s negative traits to cease to exist just because you don’t want to see them. Remember, for example, that you should not tell your secrets to a gossip, nor should you trust someone who does not trust you or seek affection in someone who later does not know how to return it to you.
This is part of accepting who others are. You know how they are, and you learn how to treat them. Do not expect things from others that they cannot give you and learn where the limits are between the two. This way you will avoid disappointment and unnecessary pain.
Have a good support network
Just because one person is difficult does not mean that everyone is, so you should have a good support network around you. People who dedicate their time and love to you for as long as you need it. Get and meet your needs with others. Tell your secrets to a friend you can trust and be a good listener, write a journal to capture your feelings … for example.
You can trust people as long as they show you that you can trust them. Find a good therapist if you need one. This will help you and the other person take pressure off the relationship and eliminate the potential source of conflict. You need your own personal space!
With these tips you can have a healthier relationship with that person who is difficult to deal with without having to resort to conflict or toxic emotional situations.