The death of a loved one begins a psychological process that is defined as grief. Grief has five main stages, in which the time each person takes to go through it is very indicative. The time in psychological problems does not have a predetermined date , it all depends on a large number of external and personal factors, which cause the average to be shortened or prolonged. The loss of a loved one can become a real ordeal in which the goal of overcoming is increasingly distant, but no matter how long it lasts, nothing is ever eternal.

How the type of death affects its intensity and duration

A sudden death will never mean the same as a diagnosed one . When death is caused by a prolonged illness, loved ones have time to say goodbye and sometimes better assimilate the great loss. However, when it comes to an accident or something unexpected shock and confusion come together for not being able to have a goodbye. The words that were not said, the things that were not done and the gestures that were left to do generate frustration and pain, and sometimes even a sense of guilt. Therefore, if it is a sudden loss, the intensity and duration are usually aggravated.

Although the causes of death are a very determining factor in knowing how long a duel will last, it is not a set date or a spatial limit. Depending on the family, social support and the circle that each person has, the grief will be one way or another . This will directly affect the intensity, if the person is alone and unprotected, it will take more time to assimilate the duel and overcome each of its phases, and in that sense the duration will be longer.

The five stages of grief

The first stage of grief is that of denial . In this phase, denial plays as an ally so that you do not believe the reality that that relative is no longer there, and thus avoid the pain that this news may produce. The denial can be both explicit and not implicit, when it is expressed that that person has died, but internally the thoughts are totally contrary. Denial is one of the shorter phases, it cannot be sustained indefinitely since at some point you will run into reality and it cannot be avoided in any way.

The second phase is anger , in which anger and resentment are more present. The frustration of not being able to change the situation is usually the cause of all this hatred, in which sometimes a culprit is found to improve feelings of anger in some way. The next step is fiction-based negotiation of reliving the death with a chance to prevent it from happening. Which offers an opportunity mentally for the loved one to come back in some way.

The depression is the most difficult phase of mourning. In this inevitable stage the invented realities disappear, and the constructions of lies to evade reality no longer serve. A period begins in which the feeling of emptiness invades the person due to the absence of the family member. Existential crisis is characteristic of depression, in which getting used to real life without a loved one becomes a really complicated task. To end the duel it is allowed to give way to overcoming and the consequent acceptance. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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