Sometimes we try to keep people in our environment, either out of pain of leaving someone on the road, or out of fear of not finding other better friends who can give a new approach to our life. Maintaining these friendships is a good thing, because time is what can guarantee the most trust in a relationship , but when this person constantly hurts us and does not give us positive messages or moments, we have a problem on our hands.
Toxic friends make you feel bad to raise your own self-esteem
First of all and to detect those toxic friendships, you must know that one of the main characteristics of a person with this attitude is selfishness . A friend is someone who thinks of you without the need for you to talk to him or remember your problems, he must know you and care about you, on the other hand, if the only thing he is looking for in you is someone with whom to spend time and talk , but refuses to listen to you. , or if you always arrive at your meetings on time but for his part it is common for him to cancel plans to make different ones, or he does not care about your problems as long as they do not affect him directly, it is clear that we are facing a toxic friendship relationship .
It is possible that this person is temporarily toxic due to a personal problem, because of something that should be solved internally, therefore it is not necessary that you break the friendship radically, but you must communicate the problem so that this person reconsiders and decides to change if he sees fit .
Talking can solve some toxic friendships
Jokes are common among friends , even those that have an edge or cruel touch. There are many types of relationships, some are white and impeccable, full of good words and beautiful gestures, but others dedicate the worst insults , although both hiding behind each word a display of great affection. It is possible to have a friendship where the way to show love is with consensual cruelty, but what is not so acceptable is to do it when one of the parties does not like the comments or they make them feel uncomfortable.
If in a relationship of this type, you feel that you are on very different levels and that what at first was humor, has become a set of gratuitous attacks to make you feel inferior or belittle yourself, you are facing a case of toxicity within friendship , and it is something that you should stop immediately. First of all, make sure that the other person consciously hurts you, they may think that you understand as a joke what does not really sound like such. You should talk to your friends and tell them how you feel, it is possible that you need to distance yourself for a while so that everything returns to its normal course , and it is very healthy if it ends up solving your friendship.
Behind bad attitudes, you can hide something that you do not imagine
Sometimes the other person turns out to be unpleasant for no apparent reason, gets irritable, or reacts badly when you like someone or are on a date. Keep in mind that the other person may be hiding a greater feeling for you, it is possible that he is beginning to feel that he would like to have a romantic relationship and the fact of seeing it as something impossible makes him have a feeling of love and hate difficult to understand. These cases are very complicated and asking directly can create more problems than solutions, but it would be good to feel around some situations to see if that person is actually in love with you.
Disrespect is not part of a friendship
In no case should your friends disrespect someone around you or yourself, without being a joke accepted, understood and assumed by both parties. If your friend continually criticizes your family, your lifestyle or disparages your successes , you may find yourself facing a problem of self-esteem of the other person that turns into attacks against you. It is important that you talk and make him understand that he is hurting you, be transparent and open your feelings, in this way he will understand that the problem is born inside him, and that he has someone to lean on.
If they make you feel bad or guilty about everything, they are toxic people
There are cases that have no solution, and trying to extend the friendship believing that everything will end up as you would like it could only become a trap that prevents you from being happy. If your friends make you feel bad for the things you do, make you feel guilty for acts that you do not understand are wrong , you should try to see your own life with perspective and really understand what you are doing , if it is right or wrong, and not be influenced by the opinions of others more than by your own. Get to know yourself well and you will know which friends know you as you are.
Having three or four real friends is more than enough
You should not have ten or fifty friends, in fact, it would be impossible to have so many people with whom you can fully trust and show yourself as you are . In life we surround ourselves with many people , most of them are strangers, another part are acquaintances and a very select part is that of friends, do not try to force this part to expand it, it is better to have a small circle of good relationships and thus ensure your happiness and social well-being.