An important step that all couples go through is getting to know the group of friends. It may not be as stressful as meeting parents, but for many people, it’s a great time. Everyone is expected to have fun, get along and think of it as a great relationship. Nobody wants to hear that the partner you have chosen does not seem good to you … in fact, hearing this could be the worst news of all for you.
If your friends don’t like your partner, don’t despair … There are some things you can do to make that change or to at least respect your decision to be with that person in a romantic relationship.
Ask them why they feel this way
Everyone likes to feel heard and they like that their friends really listen to them. If your friends hate your boyfriend, you should ask them why they feel that way. This does not mean that you have to agree with them or forget about their friendship forever … It just means that you are willing to listen to what they have to say, that it is your job as a friend.
They may have no reason to hate you, which makes sense, and you may have a difficult time during this conversation. This type of conversation is not going to be pleasant for you (or your friends). What matters is that you are listening and that you are not just telling your friends that because they say they hate your boyfriend, you are never going to talk to them again.
You probably don’t want to ruin your friendships over this. Remember that friends have different personalities and preferences . That is what makes friendship so interesting. We don’t have to agree all the time … not on this either.
Tell them that you love them and that they need to be accepted
If your friends don’t like your partner, that doesn’t mean you have to hate him and break up with him. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? They may envy you, especially if they are single or unhappy in their own relationship. They could be projecting their feelings onto you.
When you are in this situation, there is something you need to do: tell your friends that you love your partner and that they need to accept it. They might tell you that they don’t like it but that they accept you. You don’t need to change your mind, just respect you as a couple.
Accept how your friends feel
This is more complicated but it is necessary. Even if you think that your friends are not being reasonable and that the things they say do not make sense. You must also accept how they feel. Perhaps you have not ever liked the partner of one of your friends either, because this is something that happens quite common in relationships .
It can be difficult or even impossible to understand what someone sees in someone, especially if they are different from you and have nothing in common. Just because you don’t care about your best friend’s boyfriend doesn’t mean they weren’t meant to be together and they shouldn’t get married.
Accept how your friends feel and they will accept how you feel too. It is a matter of mutual respect. You can call a kind of truce and say, okay, you know how they feel and how you feel, and that’s the way things are.
Don’t talk about your partner in conversations
Realizing that your friends don’t like your partner will never be a good time. The last thing you want to do is talk to him and get your friends to say something bad about him or your relationship. That’s not the way to go if you care about keeping your friends, which you probably want to do.
Instead, don’t bring it up in conversations . Sure, it’s horrible that you can’t be honest and open with your relationship. You will not like that you cannot talk about the person you love so much. But it is an unfortunate reality of the situation you find yourself in. It’s the only way to stay friends with these people, so if that matters to you then it’s a good idea.