The first phases of love are, without a doubt, the sweetest (not the best). Everything is rosy, we are happy for any nonsense, even the smallest details make us feel on a cloud, and we are constantly in a good mood. That’s what infatuation is! Or, at least, what it should be, since it is the chemical reaction that our brain transmits to us at that moment. Because yes, love and falling in love also have a scientific explanation, without this making it less “romantic”, far from it. It is still romantic but, in addition, it has a well-founded basis to explain where our good humor comes from.
We have all lived some of those loves, especially when we were younger, which lasted just a few months but, at first, made us feel as if everything was eternal; as if we could become eternal, and those butterflies in our stomachs were never going to leave us. Of course, then the butterflies disappear, we begin to get to know the other person thoroughly , and we discover if it was really that bad, if we were in love, or if it had only been a momentary hitch. That doesn’t make it any less real: there are loves that are made to last a lifetime, and loves that have an expiration date, and both are infatuation in equal measure!
But what is it that makes us go so crazy ? What makes us feel in a good mood twenty-four hours a day when we start to meet someone? Four chemicals: dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and serotonin .
It’s all in the brain
Love causes a kind of chemical reaction in the brain that has been shown to be similar to those of a person suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. During the early stages of falling in love, the brain begins to release different substances that make us feel in a certain way ; the first is dopamine , whose effect is similar to taking a drug. We feel in a good mood, happy, almost euphoric, and our sexual desire increases considerably. After this come three other substances: norepinephrine , which makes us not hungry; the oxytocin , which pushes us to be more loving; and finally serotonin, which decreases and causes us to constantly think about the person in question.
The mixture of all these substances causes that, when we are with the person, we feel as if everything were rosy , as if nothing could dampen our spirits at that moment. This is the love you feel at the beginning, which may not be the most appropriate when it comes to maintaining a long-term relationship, but it is a beginning.
Although in addition to chemical changes, there are changes in our behavior. The most notable of these is also the biggest mistake we can make: we idealize the other person . We believe that everything he or she does or says is okay, that he or she is perfect or perfect, and that he or she would never ever harm us. This is the reason why many couples end up breaking up after starting to know each other, and it is that they see themselves devoid of this veil of perfection. People are, after all, human, with all that that implies; Your partner also goes to the bathroom, he also has days when he can’t stand himself, and he also cries if he does a lot of damage. And nothing happens!
Falling in love is a beautiful stage , but it ends. Although that does not mean that life has to end rosy! Couples can be very positive if they take care of each other, work for each other and respect each other.