There are many people who fear being abandoned by their loved ones, especially by their partners. These people tend to seek external relationships all the time, so if someone fails them, they have other people who make them feel good. But for this to happen, it can cause people to not have healthy relationships and only have toxic relationships that hurt them emotionally , falling into a downward spiral.

Fear of abandonment

People who fear abandonment tend to have low self-confidence and low self-esteem. The person with this fear deceives other people because of their fear that someone will abandon them and tries to keep relationships afloat, even if it means having a partner and a lover. They’re putting their relationship on the line, living a lie, and obviously not dealing with their fear of abandonment in a healthy way.

People with a fear of abandonment can have a variety of behaviors, many of which are destructive to themselves and to the relationships they have with others. For this reason, it is necessary for people to be aware that they are afraid of abandonment to remit their toxic behaviors and in this way, and if necessary, seek the necessary help.

Red flags that warn you that you are afraid of abandonment

The fear of abandonment must be recognized and treated correctly for the good of the couple’s relationship, interpersonal relationships and anyone involved in the life of the person who has the fear of abandonment. Some of the red flags are:

-You are jealous of other people often

-Perceive other people as a threat

-It gives too much in interpersonal and couple relationships

-Demands unrealistic amounts of time both with partner, friends or family (he is an absorbing person)

-You have difficulty fully trusting your partner or spouse

-Look more at the defects than the virtues of the partner or close people

-Does not know how to be alone without a partner

-When one relationship ends, another begins right away

-It has feelings of resentment if the partner, friends or family make plans without them

-He feels unworthy, believes that he does not deserve the love of others

-Has low self-esteem and self-confidence

-End relationships before others end them for fear of abandonment

-Maintains toxic relationships and endures abusive things only for fear of abandonment

-You feel jealous of the platonic relationships that your spouse or partner has, such as with co-workers

-They control their partner, especially when it comes to their time and interaction with others

-You sabotage your relationship on a regular basis, often picking up on the negatives or problems rather than focusing on the positive qualities within your partner and relationship.

-Search for relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable

-It’s unfaithful

-Lies and cheats

A person does not have to have all these behaviors to be afraid of abandonment. There are people who are afraid of being abandoned and only have some of the behaviors mentioned above. You need to know that engaging in even some of these behaviors is unhealthy and detrimental to your life and relationships.

There are also some people who will sabotage their own relationships by pushing their partner or spouse away. They can have an undesirable behavior that another person with a better perception of himself and without fear of abandonment, simply does not tolerate.  The result in these situations where the behavior escalates enough is that they were right, their partner has left them because they are ‘not good enough’. Unfortunately, the spouse or partner who left you was because the person with fear of abandonment was putting pressure on the relationship in a toxic way and inadvertently, physically and emotionally alienated the other person. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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