Emotional relationships are not simple at all, in fact the closer your relationship with someone is, the more complicated the relationship you have. In any relationship , the needs and expectations of one person intersect with the needs and expectations of the other. Sometimes it is a smooth balance, but other times it can have quite a few obstacles.
Intimate and romantic relationships often encompass a wide range of needs and expectations for both parties, and therefore can be enormously difficult. Creating and maintaining romantic and intimate relationships requires open communication, respect, dedication, and tolerance .
Successful relationships need balance
Successful relationships also include each person helping the other meet their needs , wants, and concerns for themselves and as a friend or partner. For example, a woman may want to finish her college education so she can get a higher paying job that not only improves her self-esteem , but also her marriage’s ability to buy a home.
One of the most difficult areas to solve is that of housework and care. In general, a couple assumes most of these responsibilities … Being unfair in the vast majority of times. In this society, the weight usually falls on women. While women and men want to be nice to their partners, one party may feel that they are underrecognized for their efforts because they receive little recognition.
This can cause them to believe that they have not done enough, so they do even more. Such thoughts and behaviors can come at the cost of deprivation of one’s own needs. If this continues, there may be a slow build-up of resentment and anger. It is important to recognize that loving and giving is healthy; but loving and giving at the cost of one’s psychological invisibility is clearly unhealthy.
Anyone who submerges his needs to be valued, loved, appreciated and congratulated, and who represses his sense of self to the desires of his partner or other people, is going to risk psychological starvation. We call this emotional anorexia.
The dark zone
When you get to the dark zone of emotional anorexia it is because your psychological nutrition is poor. Much of what you consume is negative “high-fat” emotions such as anger, worry, anxiety , pessimism, or bitterness. Emotional anorexia means that you are living in an emotional starvation mode.
Just like irritability and anger happen when your blood glucose levels drop, when you don’t have enough “psychological sugar,” your emotional “blood levels” drop as well. You don’t have the good nutrients of joy , happiness, and excitement to keep you going.
Signs that you are suffering from emotional anorexia
You may be experiencing emotional anorexia but haven’t realized it yet. Here are some signs to identify if you are at this point in your life:
- You try to avoid conflict by always giving in or stopping making requests even if you feel some resentment.
- All you feel is a deep irritation that ends in an explosion of volcanic anger. This is usually due to a minor transgression on the other person’s part, and it usually occurs when you are in a situation where you should be having fun (for example, going out to dinner or relaxing on the weekend).
- You feel guilty because you can’t keep things right and you think you’re the one who ruins the moments.
- You are caught up in your emotions and you feel like you are boiling inside.
- You feel like you’ve become a “difficult person” who is “unpredictable” and “overreacts.”
Follow these points for reference:
- Take a perspective view of what is happening to you: how many positive and negative emotions do you have per day?
- Understand your emotional triggers.
When you feel emotions, accept them and understand what they want to tell you?
- Be motivated to change your perspective , remember that no one can make you change … if you need to scream, scream.
What if you do nothing
If you don’t start the process or do nothing to improve yourself, just as emotional malnutrition destroys the physical body, emotional anorexia will destroy all your relationships and most importantly , it will poison your heart.
On the other hand, if you make the effort to consume more positive emotions, your life will begin to shine again and you will enjoy the same things that you did before. The magic of positive change will begin in your life and you will return to being a happy person, really.