The depression is a disease that causes the mood of the person who suffers have severe and prolonged feelings of sadness, guilt and sadness. These feelings interfere with your daily life, affecting relationships, work, and even the entire environment. Loss of interest in everything is the main feature of depression , which can be accompanied by eating or sleeping disorders along with constant feelings of tiredness, and recurring thoughts of being upset and suicidal . This mild, moderate or severe disease can be treated with professional help and medication in some cases.
“Other people have it worse than you”
One of the phrases that are repeated the most and that should not be like that is; “Other people have it worse than you.” The fact of pronouncing those words does not make the problems of the person disappear, as much as other people have other issues , they can never be compared with each other. What it causes mainly is to reinforce the feeling of guilt and discomfort. Nor can you reinforce in any way your attitude with phrases like “life is not fair” , also with these words you are downplaying the matter. Saying “I’m very sorry about everything that is happening, but we are going to move forward” is a way of transmitting support and encouragement.
One of the most important aspects for a person with depression is living day to day overcoming it , regardless of the future. Therefore, self-help phrases such as “you will feel better tomorrow” are not the best option if you are talking to someone who has this disease. This way you put too much pressure on a person who is already struggling to get through that day to be thinking about the future. It must be borne in mind that depression is not a disease that can be cured from one day to the next, it is a slow process in which support and time are needed above all.
“You are being selfish”
People who have depression are usually very hard on themselves , saying words like “you are being selfish” even with the best intention, can make the situation of discomfort radically worse . Pressure always works against this disease, and tends to cause the person to withdraw more into himself. If you miss a person who does not count on you so much for this reason you can try saying “I miss you a lot, can we meet?”. Any little step is a help.
“Go out, have fun, have a drink, and forget it” is one of the expressions that is repeated the most and that it should be the least. Depression is not forgotten with a big party, nor is it just a cold that lasts for two days. In fact, alcohol in many cases accentuates discomfort and guilt, which can cause very complicated situations. Going out partying is not always the solution , a coffee or a walk in a quiet place can be really beneficial and can be a real escape route for that person.
“Why do you have depression if you have a perfect life?”
In neither case does it have to be related to a bad trigger. Before talking to a depressed person, you should inform yourself about the disorder, in order to discover that depression does not always manifest itself from a traumatic event for the person, it just happens . A very similar phrase is “everyone dealing with life, why not you?”. Depression is not chosen , as has already been said before, and once it manifests it does so in each person in a totally different way.
“Life goes on” is one of the expressions that, depending on the person or the moment, may or may not be a good choice. If it is true that life goes on, but people who have depression have a different notion of time that makes them think that they are trapped and with no way out . Most likely, in most cases, they will not imagine the next day, small goals are the key to work for depressed people. Redirecting the words and saying “you have a lot to live for, and I will be with you to help you rediscover it” may be the best option to get closer to that person and offer your support.
“You are dragging me with you”
These last words are strictly prohibited. A person with depression does not choose to have it, it is not an option that you decide to choose, and sometimes their struggle can be very arduous and cause feelings of helplessness . A person with this disease has enough with having to help himself and fight every day, so that he has an extra worry and a feeling of guilt that he cannot bear. Instead of those harmful words, you can choose to offer to accompany her to go to the psychologist or psychiatrist so that she feels more supported.