Deception seems to be something common in life … There are many people who lie and normally when deception occurs it is usually for a way of manipulating and achieving specific objectives. When they cheat on you, you may feel unstable, confused, and resentful. If you think someone may be cheating on you, you may want to confront that person to get a confession, let them know that you are aware of the lies, or prevent the lying behavior in the future.

Also, when you ignore a lie, in a certain sense, you become a liar … Because you know that there is a lie or something that is not true, but you evade what that causes, perhaps trying, in a way to protect yourself, not it affects you more than necessary. If you think someone is cheating on you, then it is important that you know how to react and know how to deal with that situation.

Is confrontation the right thing to do?

The first thing to take into account behind is to think if the confrontation with that person is the correct approach or not. The decision to confront depends on the type of lie and your relationship with the person you think is cheating on you. If it’s a white lie, or a casual acquaintance, it may make more sense to let it go. In more personal relationships, when lying can break trust and affect intimacy, confrontation is often the right option.

Gather evidence of deception

Having evidence of deception is necessary for you to gather evidence in case you need to prove that you have been deceived. The ideal is to collect a communication trace on paper or in electronic mode when it comes to a job deception, for example. In the same way, it is worth keeping the documentation of the lies that a partner or partner tells you, since later you may need that evidence when you divorce or want to obtain custody of your children .

Face the lie

If you have to face the lie, the ideal is to start by being discreet and as diplomatic as possible so that the other person feels comfortable confessing the lie. You can offer clues that you know the truth and thus give the other person the opportunity to withdraw or change the story to the real one. Let him know that you ask what he says, but he may also acknowledge that he is wrong or that it may be a misunderstanding.

Be straightforward if you don’t admit deception

If the person who has lied to you does not admit the deception, you will have to be direct, especially if you think that discovering it is important for the future of the relationship. It’s a good idea to take a collaborative approach and tell the person you only need accurate information for a specific goal.

Think about the possibility of the presence of a third party

If you are concerned about the possible impact of exposing yourself to a liar or if you think your reputation could be damaged, consider the presence of a third person during the confrontation to document what is happening, that is, so that there are witnesses.

Think why he lies

Also, before confronting the person who is lying, you need to think about why that person is lying to you or trying to deceive you. Some people have psychological disorders that are at the root of their lying , and these people are likely not to admit that they are lying and they are not going to change their behavior either. Pathological liars often lie compulsively and for no purpose, and they will continue to lie even when confronted. 

People with narcissistic personality disorder come to believe their own lies and will react defensively or even attack those who point out inconsistencies in what they do or say. In general, it is best to keep your distance from these personality types because they will only cause you to have toxic relationships . 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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