Conflict is a normal part of personal relationships and this does not have to be a problem of any kind, although it can be a source of stress. In most conflicts it is necessary to learn to find the solution so that the problem does not become more serious than necessary. There are people who suppress their anger just so they don’t have to deal with these uncomfortable feelings. These people often shut up when they feel upset, but this strategy is not healthy in the short or long term.

An unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and additional conflict in interpersonal relationships. In addition, it can have a very negative impact on your health. Although resolving conflicts can be complicated, it is not impossible and it is healthy to do so. If you haven’t been taught conflict resolution skills … follow these guidelines to improve these skills, it will make your life much easier to follow them!

Connect with your feelings

To be able to resolve conflicts correctly you will have to get in touch with your feelings and be aware that a conflict involves how you feel and why you feel that way in particular. Sometimes people feel angry or resentful but don’t know why they are. At other times, people think they feel bad because of others …

To connect with your feelings, it is a good idea to get in touch with them through writing a journal to be able to capture your feelings, thoughts or any other aspect that has to do with your inner self. Although sometimes you get lazy, it is worth getting it.

Perfect your listening skills

If you want to solve problems with other people well, you need to learn to listen to better understand their perspective instead of focusing only on yours. Helping the other person feel heard and understood can sometimes go a long way in resolving a conflict.

Unfortunately, active listening is a skill that not everyone knows about, and it is common for people to think that they are listening while in their heads they are formulating their next answer, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing other things in addition. of trying to understand the other person’s perspective . It’s also common to be so defensive that you literally can’t hear the other person’s point of view. 

Maintain assertive communication

Communicating your feelings and your needs can be done without hurting others and is essential for good conflict resolution. It is about saying what you have in mind in a clear and assertive way , without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. An effective conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using ‘I feel’ statements.

Find a solution for everyone

Once you have understood the perspective of the other person and understand yours as well and the feelings that invade you, then the time will have come to find the solution to the conflict … a solution that is in line with everyone. Sometimes a simple and obvious answer comes up once both parties understand the other person’s perspective.

In cases where the conflict was based on a misunderstanding or a lack of understanding of the other’s point of view, a simple apology can work wonders, and an open discussion can bring people closer together. The important thing is to come to a place of understanding and try to work things out in a way that is respectful to everyone involved.

If you are trying to resolve a conflict with another person by following the steps and you realize that it is not possible … then it is advisable that you put some distance in the relationship with that person or even cut the relationship completely. You can also add limits and accept the other person’s limitations to your relationship. Remember that … two people do not argue if one does not want to!