Coexistence is not easy under normal circumstances, so when there is a factor that can stress it, everything can become a little more complicated. Addictions are behaviors normally undesirable by the people who are around addicted people. Usually an addict tends to lie to cover up his additive behavior and also for other reasons, but it is important that you do not take it personally.
Here are some reasons addicts tend to lie and how you can effectively treat this behavior. If the addicted person is your partner or another close relative or loved one, you need to take these tips into account. Remember in the first instance that an addicted person needs treatment by a professional and until that person realizes it, you must protect your emotional stability. But why does an addicted person lie?
To avoid a confrontation
Addicts often want to avoid confrontation because they have used their addictive behavior as a coping strategy for a long time. They often do not have other well-developed ways of dealing with life stresses because they need support and guidance from a professional. Instead of blaming him for what he does, it is better to use your language to reflect your perspective, instead of hurting him with judgment or criticism, something that could make his addiction worse.
They don’t like forced change
An addicted person is not interested in letting others know what he / she is doing, especially if those people are important to him / her and there could be chances of being judged or that because of that addiction, the relationship could be damaged in some way. They mistakenly believe that their addiction is good for them, perhaps because they believe that in this way they calm their anxiety.
Sometimes addicted people can and do change when they realize that the consequences of their behavior will continue to get worse unless they do something different. Addicts often lie about the extent of their addictive behavior, because they want to avoid pressure to change.
Ideally, try to provide information that can influence the life of the addicted person so that he or she can be able to decide for himself whether to change or not, rather than trying to persuade them to change.
They want to escape negativity
Addicted people often view their behavior as a kind of waiting pattern, waiting for things to resolve themselves and the addiction to go away … effortlessly. They don’t want you to remind them of the negative aspects of their behavior, especially if it involves blaming someone.
When an addict constantly feels criticized by his loved ones, he lies to cover up his behavior and this in the long run will seriously damage the relationship and trust between people. You will have to try to focus on what will be better if things change and not on what will be worse if they don’t.
Do you know that he is lying?
It is possible that your loved one is lying to you and that you really know what happened. This means that while your loved one was talking to you, you already knew that everything he was telling you was a lie. But for whatever reason, you allow him to lie to you without knowing why you are doing it. If you allow him to lie to you, you will be sending him two messages:
- He tells you a lie and you know it and you try to ignore it … so next time he is likely to lie to you again because there are no consequences.
- He tells you a lie and you know it but you pretend to believe him, so if he lies again you will also pretend that you believe him.
This will cause the addicted person who lies to not see any kind of consequence in their actions and therefore, to relapse into their negative behaviors. So that this does not happen, it is a good idea to avoid the discussion but indicate that you know what has happened instead of accepting the lie and looking elsewhere (which would be like accepting what happens even if you do not like it).
He is ashamed of what he does
Addictions often cause people around you to behave in ways that cause you shame and regret. When you point this out, they lie to avoid feeling embarrassed.
Accepting an addict’s lie is a form of empowerment that can avoid external shame, but will do nothing to ease your loved one’s internal emotional pain .