Codependency is also called relationship addiction or emotional dependency. This occurs because these relationships show physical, psychotic and emotional dependence on their partners. A person who is codependent will sacrifice their own needs and wants to satisfy those of their partner. This emotional problem is ingrained with feelings of low self-worth, shame, and insecurity.

Some experts think that codependency begins during childhood, when a child is constantly required to attend to the needs of others first. Children who grew up with alcoholic, drug addicted, abusive, or emotionally neglectful parents are likely to experience codependency in their future adult relationships . Children who grow up in these situations learn to believe that they are not important and sometimes that they are the cause of their family’s problems.

For people who are not experts in relationships, codependency can seem like a love affair. That love, however, comes from a very clear and deep place: fear. This fear can be a fear of criticism, fear of being abandoned, fear of losing control, fear of disappointing others, or fear of making someone else suffer.

Codependency affects relationships

Codependent relationships are toxic, harmful, and in many cases, abusive. For all this, codependency should be important to you and identify if you have this type of toxic relationship in your life. Because if you want to have a healthy adult relationship, you need to understand what codependency is and how it might affect you. If you can identify codependency, you can work to improve it. 

The key to detecting codependency is that you live in an unsatisfactory relationship, you will not find satisfaction in your life without your partner.  Rather than being an independent individual in the relationship, you have come to rely on the other person for your happiness and personal identity. Codependent relationships mean a degree of toxic attachment, one or both parties depend on their loved ones to be happy.

People with codependency may have low self-esteem and feel that they are not good enough for other people. They can constantly seek approval through people-friendly activities. It is difficult for them to say no, because they feel that they will be doing harm to others, even if not saying it is harmful to them. They don’t know how to set limits and they feel responsible for other people’s problems.

Signs of codependency

If you want to know if you are a codependent person in your relationship, you need to take into account some warning signs that can make you realize if you need help.

-You don’t accept criticism and you get defensive

-You have a need to control others

-Put the needs of others before yours

-Care for someone who has emotional or physical problems

-You deny your personal problems

-You feel inner helplessness

If you think you have these signs, you probably have codependency problems. If so, don’t worry because you can improve with good learning and self-development. There are some tips that you can take into account to fight against codependency and have healthy relationships in the future and above all, enjoy a healthy love:

-Answer: What is a healthy love relationship for you?

-Ask yourself why you doubt your self-esteem … Think that you only need to show who you are to yourself.

-Be nice to yourself instead of focusing so much on being nice to others.

-It’s okay to accept help from others. Admit that you need help, this will give you strength and never weakness.

-Don’t worry about rejection, otherwise you won’t be able to take the risks of having a long and healthy relationship.

-Recognize that you have codependency problems and remedy to recover, be honest with yourself. Seek help, support groups, people who listen and understand you.

The final step in overcoming your codependency is getting rid of unhealthy relationships. If you are too involved in another person or relationship, you will not be able to focus on your healing process.  This allows you to release energy for yourself and break the toxic cycle of codependency.

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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