One of the great problems that society has right now is that it confuses self-care with selfishness; prioritizing stability, taking care of oneself , is usually associated with selfishness or not taking into account the needs of others, when nothing is further from reality. It seems that we should be constantly giving ourselves to the rest, that we have to take care of others and, for that, forget ourselves. But no! The key is to find balance, to be able to do both at the same time : that caring for others does not imply neglecting ourselves.

Balance is usually the solution to almost all the problems that we find ourselves in our day to day , and that makes us debate between one point or another. For example, on the subject we are dealing with today: it would be of little use to only take care of others and forget about our needs, since in the end we would end up being bad. And it is useless, in turn, to take care only of our well-being if we do not take care of others as well, since we would end up blaming ourselves. To do this, we must seek a balance between both situations.

Understand that you are important too

Giving yourself to others is simple. Losing yourself in other people’s problems , too. Because it is much easier for us to analyze others and try to help them than to understand that we also need the same care.

The first thing to achieve that balance, then, is to give yourself the importance that you really have. Loving you, knowing you, appreciating you and knowing how to see in you all that positive that you see in others. Because if you do not value yourself, you will not feel that you are important and that you also need to have time for yourself.

Assess each situation individually

It is not the same to help your partner with a family problem that he may have in a timely manner than to have to be constantly aware of his needs, to the point of forgetting that you also have yours . The first is understandable, since there are circumstances in which it is necessary to know how to look outside; the second implies forgetting yourself or yourself, forgetting that you also need basic care, and prioritizing another person over yourself.

And while the first is fine, the second will end up affecting you emotionally . That does not mean that you have to leave her, or that you should give up, but it is important that you sit down and put the cards on the table, both with your partner and with yourself.

Take care of yourself as if you were your best friend

Although it may seem absurd, the truth is that the best way to take care of yourself and maintain a balance between your emotional stability and that of your closest friends is to treat yourself as if you were your best friend . If your best friend was bad, would you tell him to dedicate himself that day, take care of himself and love himself? That he did what made him feel happiest, without more? Of course! Well, do exactly the same with yourself: take care of yourself, love yourself and value yourself.

We have a bad habit of belittling our feelings . We believe that our desire to disconnect from everything, to isolate ourselves for a while from the problems of others, is selfish, and it is not. It is our mind crying out for the rest it deserves. Perhaps it is time for you to learn to listen to yourself as you listen to others.

And above all, take time

All that we have mentioned above are tips to carry out when you find yourself in a situation of restlessness, but there is one that you should apply during all the days of your life: dedicate time to yourself. Every day, even for ten minutes . Or two hours! The time you have. Play sports, listen to music, read a book, go for a walk, enjoy your pets or simply do nothing. Find out what you are passionate about and dedicate time to it. Because this is how you will learn to listen to yourself, to love yourself and to take care of yourself. 

Elle Mcdonald

I am Elle Mcdonald Specializations in Psychology . Graduated in psychology from the University of Tennessee in 2000. Diploma of Advanced Studies in the Department of Personality, Evaluation and psychological treatments with excellent results.

First Level of Master in Clinical Psychology at the Center for Behavioral Therapists (recognized with a scientific-professional nature by the College of Psychologists)

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